Bamboozled
               Bamboozled

                by

                Spike Lee




BLACK SCREEN

We HEAR the voice of MALCOLM X.

                MALCOLM X (V.O.)
            You've been hoodwinked.  You've
            been had.  You've been took.
            You've been led astray, run amok.
            You've been bamboozled.

His followers ROAR.

CUT TO TITLE:

"BAMBOOZLED"

CUT TO CRAWL:

WHITE LETTERS ON BLACK

WE HEAR the VOICE of PIERRE DELACROIX.

                DELACROIX (V.O.)
            Satire.  1a.  A literary work in
            which human vice or folly is
            ridiculed or attacked scornfully.
            B.  The branch of literature that
            composes such work.  2.  Irony,
            derision or caustic wit used to
            attack or expose folly, vice or
            stupidity.

INT. APARTMENT - MORNING

WE are in the living quarters of PIERRE DELACROIX.  The
windows overlook the Brooklyn Promenade and the majestic
lower Manhattan skyline.

                DELACROIX (V.O.)
            Bonjour, my name is Pierre Delacroix.
            I'm a television writer, also a
            showrunner, a creative person.

We see a tall figure move in and around the space.

                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            I'm one of those people responsible
            for what you view on your idiot box.

CLOSE ON

Monogrammed cuff sleeve - the initials P.D.

                                        2.


                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            The problem is not enough of you
            have been watching.

CLOSE ON

Monogrammed shirt pocket - the initials P.D.

                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            With the onslaught of the internet,
            video and interactive games, nine
            hundred channels to choose from and
            whatnot, our valued audience has
            dramatically eroded.

CLOSE ON

Razor cuts a path through a white foam on a black face.

                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            To put it in much more simple
            terms...

Delacroix YELLS.

                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            Like rats fleeing a sinking ship.

CLOSE ON

The handsome face of Pierre Delacroix.

                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            People tuning out by the millions.

Delacroix turns to the CAMERA and addresses US.

                DELACROIX (CONT'D)
            Which is not good.

EXT. TENEMENT - LOWER EAST SIDE - MORNING

The tenement building is boarded up, condemned, bombed out,
but a home, a shelter nonetheless.

INT. TENEMENT - MORNING

People to our surprise live in here.  It is a commune.  The
homeless, people who have been left out, forgot about,
written off, and don't matter.  The fringes of society.

CHEEBA, a skinny Puerto Rican male, tries to wake a
slumbering body under a mass of old newspapers.

                                        3.


                CHEEBA
            Yo, let's get to it.  You don't
            dance, we don't eat.  Simple as that.

The mass begins to move.

                CHEEBA (CONT'D)
            That's right.  We slow.  We blow.
            We snooze.  We lose.

INT. CNS TOWER - MORNING

MANRAY, a young African-American dread-lock male, and Cheeba
are getting set up in front of the entrance to the
CONTINENTAL NETWORK SYSTEM building.  CNS is one of the
fledgling, upstart new networks, trying to battle with ABC,
NBC, CBS, FOX, WB, and UPN.

ANGLE ON

Entrance.  Cheeba is putting the portable floor down on the
sidewalk.  Manray sits on the curb, taking the sneakers off
and putting on his tap shoes; bottle caps are on the soles
of the shoes instead of real taps.

                CHEEBA
            Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.
            I know everybody is in a hurry to
            work, ready to begin another day in
            this rat race.  But don't sleep us.
            I'm Cheeba and I introduce to you
            the world renown MANRAY, the man
            with the educated feet.

Manray takes a small bow.  A few, not many, people have
stopped to look.

                CHEEBA (CONT'D)
            As we continue our world wind tour,
            we would like to give you a little
            somethin', somethin' before you go
            off to make that money.  I give you
            Manray.

CLOSE ON

Manray, who starts to do his thing, and when he starts doing
his thing attention must be paid.

ANGLE ON

Crowd, as Manray gets busy, people gather to watch.

ANGLE ON

                                        4.


Delacroix, he is about to walk into the CNS building but
stops to check out Manray.

CLOSE ON

Manray, he pounds out some intricate steps and freezes at
the end of the move.

ANGLE ON

Crowd, who applaud as Cheeba unfolds a brown shopping bag
and holds it out in front of them.

                CHEEBA (CONT'D)
            Thank you very much but please
            don't go without giving us some
            cheddar, cheese, money.  We prefer
            two's than fews.

People are digging into their pockets.

                CHEEBA (CONT'D)
            I would like to add that both of us
            are homeless.  Not that it means
            anything.

A WOMAN is about to dump some change in the brown paper bag.

                CHEEBA (CONT'D)
            I said homeless.  Ladies and
            gentlemen.  Senorita, do you know
            what that means?

Cheeba looks at her and she quickly pulls out a 5-spot from
her purse and drops it into the bag.

                CHEEBA (CONT'D)
            Muchos gracias.

Cheeba works his way over to Delacroix.

                DELACROIX
            Good morning, Cheeba.

                CHEEBA
            Good morning to you, Mr. Delapot.

                DELACROIX
            De-la-croix.

                CHEEBA
            Y'know what I mean.  Got a gig yet
            for Manray and I yet?

                                        5.


                DELACROIX
            Not yet.

Delacroix hands Cheeba a ten dollar bill.

                CHEEBA
            Gracias.

Delacroix moves towards the revolving doors of CNS.

                DELACROIX
            Manray, Sloan says you're too
            talented to be dancing on the street.

                MANRAY
            Well do something about it.

INT. ELEVATOR - MORNING

Delacroix is the lone person of color in the elevator.

INT. CNS - MORNING

Delacroix gets off the elevator, takes out his ID, slips it
through the scanner and enters the reception area of CNS.

                DELACROIX
            Good morning, Marie.

                MARIE
            It's not gonna be a good morning
            for you if you don't get into
            Dunwitty's staff meeting.

                DELACROIX
            What staff meeting?

                MARIE
            The staff meeting that started 30
            minutes ago.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - MORNING

Delacroix walks, or better yet, slithers into the staff
meeting that is already in progress.  TWENTY WRITERS sit
around an oval table, all are Caucasian except Delacroix,
again he's the lone person of color, the "fly in the
buttermilk."

DUNWITTY, Senior V.P. of the Entertainment Division of CNS
looks at Delacroix and waits for him to sit down before he
continues.

                                        6.


                DUNWITTY
            Monsieur Delacroix, this very
            important meeting commenced...

Dunwitty looks at his Rolex Chronograph - Daytona Model.

                DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
            ...exactly thirty-two minutes ago.

                DUNWITTY
            I'm sorry I'm late.

                DUNWITTY
            Do you know how much information
            can be dispensed in one minute alone?

                DELACROIX
            I didn't find out about this very
            important staff meeting until...

Delacroix looks at his Jaeger-LeCoultre.

                DELACROIX (CONT'D)
            Four minutes ago.

                DUNWITTY
            So are you telling me everyone knew
            about this get-together except you?

                DELACROIX
            I wasn't told about this until
            Marie informed me as soon as I got
            off the elevator.

All eyes are on Delacroix and he feels it.

                DUNWITTY
            People, you can attempt to pull a
            Rodman like our friend Delacroix,
            but I guarantee you'll be sent
            packing just like him.

Dunwitty via remote turns off the lights and turns on an
overhead projector.

                DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
            These are the standings.  Read 'em
            and weep.  As you can plainly see
            the Continental Network System is
            languishing.

CLOSE ON

Ratings charts.

                                        7.


                DUNWITTY (O.S.) (CONT'D)
            Look at 'em people.  We are BOOTY,
            CA CA.  We are DOO-DOO.  Doo-doo on
            a stick, if you will.

CLOSE ON

Dunwitty.

                DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
            I do not like to be the laughing
            stock of the broadcast industry.  I
            have pride and people, you better
            start getting some too.  These
            numbers have to go up.

Dunwitty turns on the lights.  JOAN, one of the writers,
raises her hand.

                DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
            Question?

                JOAN
            So what do you want us to do?

                DUNWITTY
            What I want everyone to do is write
            some material that is FUNNY.  The
            junk you've been writing is about
            as funny as a dead baby.  It's not
            funny, it's not new.  It's not sexy.
            It, it, it...

CLOSE ON

Fish.

                FISH
            Sucks.

ANGLE ON

Conference room.

                DUNWITTY
            SUCKS.  Thank you, Fish.  This
            meeting is over but I want everyone
            to seriously think about what I
            said and how you can deliver.

People scurry out.

                DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
            Monsieur Delacroix, in my office now.

                                        8.


INT. HALLWAY - MORNING

The writers, beat down, come out of the conference room and
move past SLOAN HOPKINS, a highly attractive African-
American "sistuh."

Delacroix sees Sloan and holds her arm as they walk.  He
talks under his breath.

                SLOAN
            How was it?

                DELACROIX
            Why didn't you tell me about this
            staff meeting?

                SLOAN
            Nobody told me anything.

                DELACROIX
            What good are you if you don't tell
            me stuff like this?

                SLOAN
            It wasn't my fault.  If I would
            have known, I would have known.

INT. DUNWITTY'S OFFICE - MORNING

Delacroix enters his corner office, which has huge action
photos of ALI, JORDAN, GRIFFEY, TYSON, AARON and JABBAR on
his walls, it is also decorated with African art throughout.

ANGLE ON

Office.  Dunwitty looks at the floor-to-ceiling windows
overlooking mid-town Manhattan.

                DUNWITTY
            Do you know what C.P. Time is?

                DELACROIX
            C.P. Time is Colored People's Time.
            The stereotypical belief that
            Negroes are always late.  That
            Negroes have no sense of time -
            time except when it comes to music
            or dance.

They both laugh.

                DUNWITTY
            Let's sit down over there.

                                        9.


Dunwitty and Delacroix sit on the sofa.

                DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
            I'm sorry about my blowup but I
            have to have a whipping boy every
            meeting.

                DELACROIX
            I understand.  But again, in all
            honesty I was not informed.

                DUNWITTY
            Forget it.  I believe you're my
            most creative person I've got on
            staff.  You're hip.  You know
            what's happening.  I got some corny
            white boys and girls writing for me.

Delacroix doesn't join him in his laughter because he
doesn't know how to take that comment or where Dunwitty is
headed with it.

                DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
            I understand Black culture.  I grew
            up around black people all my life.
            If the truth be told I probably
            know "niggers" better than you,
            Monsieur Delacroix.  Please don't
            get offended by my use of the
            quote-unquote N word.  I got a
            black wife and three bi-racial
            children, so I feel I have a right
            to use that word.  I don't give a
            damn what Spike says, Tarantino is
            right.  Nigger is just a word.  If
            Dirty Ole Bastard can use it every
            other word so can I.

                DELACROIX
            I would prefer you not use that
            word in my presence.

                DUNWITTY
            NIGGER.  NIGGER.  NIGGER.  NIGGER.

Delacroix pounces on top of Dunwitty like a cat on a mouse
and gives him a quick BROOKLYN BEAT DOWN.

                DELACROIX
            Say it again.  C'mon, say it again.

CLOSE ON

Dunwitty.  He's a bloody pulp.

                                          10.


CLOSE ON

Delacroix.

He straightens his tie.

                DELACROIX (CONT'D)
            Who's a nigger now?

POW.  This is a fantasy in Delacroix's mind.  We go BACK TO
REALITY.  Everything's how we left it.

                DUNWITTY
            The material you've been creating
            is too white bread.  White people
            with black faces.  The Huxtable's,
            Cosby, revolutionary.  But that's
            dead.  We can't go down that road
            again.

                DELACROIX
            I don't agree.  The Negro middle
            class does exist, and it's rich
            material for a dramatic series or
            sitcom.

                DUNWITTY
            I'm telling you it's not.

He goes to his desk, picks up Delacroix's scripts and starts
throwing them one by one against the window.

                DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
            The middle class black family moves
            into a white suburban enclave.  The
            middle class black family moves
            into a small Southern town that is
            run by the KKK.  The middle class
            single black father raises his
            teenage daughter.  The middle class
            single black father raises his
            teenage daughter.  The middle class
            single black mother raises her
            teenage son.  And so on and so
            forth.  It's too clean, too
            antiseptic...

                DELACROIX
            ...to white?  I still feel all of
            my scripts would make good shows.

                                          11.


                DUNWITTY
            Delacroix, wake up, brother man.
            The reason why they didn't get
            picked up was because nobody - and
            I mean NOBODY - niggers and crackers
            alike wants to see that junk.

                DELACROIX
            I've never been given a fair shot.

                DUNWITTY
            You got your head stuck up your ass
            with your Harvard education and
            your pretentious ways.  Brother
            man, I'm blacker than you.  I'm
            keepin' it real and you're frontin',
            trying to be white.

                DELACROIX
            I'm an oreo, a sell out?  Because I
            don't aspire to do HOMEBOYS FROM
            OUT OF SPACE, SECRET DIARY OF
            DESMOND PFEIFFER, A PJ's or some as
            you might put it, some "nigger"
            show?  I'm a Tom?  I'm whiter than
            white and you're blacker than black?
            Is that what you think?

                DUNWITTY
            That's exactly what I think.  I
            want you to create something that
            people want to see.  Let's be
            honest, the majority of the people
            in the country are deaf, dumb and
            blind and I'm including 35 million
            African-Americans.  You know and I
            know "niggers" set the trend, set
            the styles.  This is a golden
            opportunity now.  These idiots have
            to be led to the water.

                DELACROIX
            I'm not sure if I can deliver what
            you want.

                DUNWITTY
            You will or you'll be back at BET
            so quick you'll never know what hit
            you.  I need a mid-season
            replacement and pronto.  It will be
            on the fast track.

                                          12.


                DELACROIX
            What is it you want from me?  Some
            plantation follies?  Some sitcom
            that takes place on a watermelon
            patch?  Some show that follows four
            nigger generations of junkies and
            crackheads?  You want me to go back
            to the ante bellum days?

                DUNWITTY
            Yes!  Yes!  Yes!  I want a show
            that will make headlines, that will
            have millions and millions of
            households tuned in, glued to their
            televisions every week.  I want
            advertisers dying to buy on this
            show.  I'm gonna squeeze this show
            out of you if it kills you.

EXT. TENEMENT - NIGHT

WE SEE a street lamp, and coming out of it are some wires.
WE FOLLOW the wires into a tenement building.

The residents have tapped into a street light courtesy of
CON EDISON for power.

INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT

Cheeba stands in front of the makeshift kitchen, which
includes a hot plate, and prepares a gourmet meal of a tasty
Spanish dish.  The clean apartment is furnished with stuff
people have thrown out that they picked up on the street.

                MANRAY
            I'm starvin' like Marvin.

                CHEEBA
            My world famous, famous world Arroz
            con pollo will be ready very soon.

                MANRAY
            Hurry up, I wanna watch HBO.

                CHEEBA
            Did we get our bill yet?

They both laugh.

                MANRAY
            I guess that will come with the
            rent, gas, and Con Ed bills, too.

                                          13.


                CHEEBA
            Ahh, the luxuries of life.

                MANRAY
            Yo, check it.  This is good and all
            that but one day soon I want to
            have much Benjamins so I can have a
            nice crib and pay all my bills.
            You hear me.

                CHEEBA
            Chill, I'm the brains behind this
            outfit.

                MANRAY
            And I'm the feet.

                CHEEBA
            Yo, you gotta show some patience.
            You want me to snap my fingers and
            presto chango - you're an overnight
            sensation.  Son, there is no such
            thing.

                MANRAY
            I'm tired of waiting.

INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

He sits in front of a large flat-screen television, watching
the Yankee game and eating his takeout Chinese food.  On top
of the monitor, he has attached a sign that reads "FEED THE
IDIOT BOX."

INT. SLOAN'S STUDIO APARTMENT - NIGHT

She sits in front of her television, hand on remote, flipping
channels and eating takeout Chinese food.

INT. CHEEBA AND MANRAY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

They both are devouring the chicken with rice, as they watch
bootleg HBO.

INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Delacroix sits at his desk, a ream of white bond paper in
front of him, a box of number-two pencils and an electric
pencil sharpener.

                DELACROIX (V.O.)
            I was never good at performing
            under the gun.

                                          14.


CLOSE

Pencil after pencil gets inserted and sharpened to a knife
like point.

                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            Well, this wasn't a gun, it was a
            bazooka and it was pressed dead
            blank right against my dome.

CLOSE ON

Delacroix, staring at the blank ream of paper.  It is very
intimidating.

CLOSE ON

Monitor.  Bernie Williams is at the plate for the New York
Yankees.

CLOSE ON

Sign atop monitor.  Again, it reads "FEED THE IDIOT BOX."

INT. SLOAN'S STUDIO APARTMENT

She too is blank.  A screen saver bobs and weaves on her
laptop.

INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT

Delacroix grabs a pencil and put it to paper.

CLOSE ON

Paper.  He doodles.

INT. TENEMENT BUILDING - NIGHT

Manray screws out the bare light bulb which is the sole
source of illumination and lays down onto his mattress on
the floor.

INT. SLOAN'S STUDIO APARTMENT

Sloan closes her laptop and jumps into her bed.

INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT

Delacroix is already in the bed, the lights are out.

CLOSE ON

Delacroix, who's wide awake.

                                          15.


INT. TENEMENT BUILDING - NIGHT

Manray and Cheeba are both sound asleep.

CLOSE ON

Cheeba, he has a sheet pulled over his head.

CLOSE ON

Manray, who's sawing logs, snoring loudly.

OFF-SCREEN, WE HEAR A RUCKUS, A BIG COMMOTION.  VOICES
yelling.  Police sirens, cars and trucks.

ANGLE ON

Apartment.  Cheeba and Manray run to the window and look out.

THEIR POV

The street is filled with police cars, vans and wagons.
Helicopters hover overhead with their searchlights on the
building.

                CHEEBA
            Oh snap!  It's a raid!

Cheeba and Manray jump into their cloths.

EXT. TENEMENT BUILDING - NIGHT

Cops in riot gear storm into the tenement.  A police chief
barks over a speaker system.

                POLICE CHIEF
            Please evacuate this building.  All
            of you are illegal residents of
            this condemned building.  Please
            leave immediately, by order of the
            Mayor of New York City, Rudolph
            Giuliani.

INT. TENEMENT BUILDING - NIGHT

Stairwell.  It's bedlam.  The hundreds of SQUATTERS who have
been living here all making a bad dash trying to flee the
NYPD as they "bumrush the show."

ANGLE ON

Floor.  Cheeba and Manray try to push against the crowd.

                                          16.


                CHEEBA
            Not this way.  Out through the fire
            escape.

The COPS are running up the staircase.  People try to escape
with as many of their belongings that they can hold.

                MANRAY
            My tap shoes.

INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT

                DELACROIX
            EUREKA!!

He jumps out of bed.

INT. SLOAN'S STUDIO APARTMENT

                SLOAN
            Oh my God!!!

She too jumps out of bed.

EXT. TENEMENT BUILDING

It is a MADHOUSE, BEDLAM.  It's PANDEMONIUM.  The Squatters
are being seized as soon as they come out of the tenement.
Searchlights go back and forth, as the cops make their
arrests and fill the "Paddy" wagons.

ANGLE ON

Street.  The Squatters are like ROACHES in a dark kitchen at
night, scrambling as the lights turn on.  Do you remember
those old "RAID" commercials.  "Let's scram, IT'S RAID!!!"

INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

The phone rings.

CUT TO SPLIT SCREEN

CU OF DELACROIX AND SLOAN

Delacroix picks it up.  They yell in unison.

                DELACROIX
            Manray!

                SLOAN
            Manray!

                                          17.


                DELACROIX
            How did you know?

                SLOAN
            It hit me like a ton of bricks.

                DELACROIX
            How can this be?  You and me at the
            same time, the exact same thought.
            It's scary.

                SLOAN
            The idea was out there in the
            universe.  Now what?

INT. TENEMENT BUILDING - NIGHT

Cheeba and Manray run down the fire escape and just elude a
group of cops.

ANGLE ON

Fence.  They lay still as the Fuzz run past them.

                MANRAY
            We ran out without my shoes and the
            floor.  I gotta get my stuff.  What
            about our savings?

                CHEEBA
            Are you crazy?  The joint is
            crawling with cops now.  You wanna
            go to Rikers?  Go to the hoosegow?

Manray looks at his friend, he knows he is right, at least
this time.

EXT. CNS BUILDING - EARLY MORNING

Delacroix and Sloan sip hot coffee as they stand in front of
their office building.

                DELACROIX
            Manray was under our nose the whole
            time.

                SLOAN
            Do you know how you will use him?

                DELACROIX
            Not yet, but this thing will never
            get made.

                                          18.


                SLOAN
            You lost me.

                DELACROIX
            Dunwitty wants a Coon show.  And
            that's what I'm going to give him,
            it's going to be so racist, so
            negative, he won't have the balls
            to put it on the air.  Hence I'll
            prove my point.

                SLOAN
            What point is that?

                DELACROIX
            The point being that him, the
            networks don't want Black people on
            television unless they are buffoons.

                SLOAN
            Sounds risky to me.

                DELACROIX
            You getting cold feet?

                SLOAN
            I'm in till the end.

                DELACROIX
            Good.  I'm going to need your
            support.

                SLOAN
            Can't you just quit?  Walk away?

                DELACROIX
            And lose out on my money?  The only
            way I get paid is if I get fired.
            And that's what I intend to do.

EXT. CNS BUILDING - NEW DAY

It is pouring rain and Delacroix and Sloan huddle under an
umbrella.

                DELACROIX (V.O.)
            Everything was going according to
            plan.  I was working on the outline.
            Dunwitty was off my back for now.

CLOSE ON

Delacroix.

                                          19.


                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            But there was a catch.  A big catch.

CLOSE ON

Sloan.

                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            Manray and Cheeba were nowhere to
            be found.

EXT. GRAND CENTRAL STATION - DAY

Manray and Cheeba are soaking wet.  They stand together in a
doorway, trying to stay out of the elements.

ANGLE ON

Street.  They run in the downpour.

                DELACROIX (V.O.)
            It was like they had disappeared
            off the face of the earth.

CLOSE ON

Cheeba.

                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            I had no contact numbers, no
            address, no beeper.

CLOSE ON

Manray.

                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            No nuthin', no clues...

EXT. CNS BUILDING - NEXT MORNING

It is a sunny and pleasant morning.  Again, Sloan and
Delacroix hold vigil.

                SLOAN
            Maybe something happened to them.
            Maybe they're lying in an alley
            bleed to death.

                DELACROIX
            Manray better not be bleeding to
            death.  I need him.  After we're
            done he can do whatever he wants to
            do, until then, he's ours.

                                          20.


                SLOAN
            You're beginning to sound like
            Dunwitty.

EXT. TENEMENT BUILDING - MORNING

Manray and Cheeba stand across the street from their former
residence.  All of the doors and windows have been boarded
up and two cops stand watch.  They both look defeated, dirty
and hungry.

INT. CNS LOBBY - NEXT DAY

Sloan gets off the elevator and sees a skirmish.  TWO
SECURITY GUARDS are trying to escort Manray and Cheeba out
of the building.

                CHEEBA
            His name is Delapoint.

                SECURITY GUARD #1
            WE have no one by that name.

                CHEEBA
            Delapot.  Dela-something.

                SECURITY GUARD #2
            De La Soul ain't here either.
            Let's go.  Out.  Off the premises.

Manray turns around and sees Sloan.

                MANRAY
            Sloan!  She knows us.

The security guard stops.

                SLOAN
            It's alright.  They are associates
            of Mr. Delacroix.

                SECURITY GUARD #1
            Sorry, Ms. Hopkins.  They both
            walked in off the street without an
            appointment.

                SECURITY GUARD #2
            Do you need an escort?

                SLOAN
            That won't be needed.

                                          21.


INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE - DAY

He sits in front of his TV and watches a tape of the old
"Amos 'n' Andy" show.  Sloan leads Manray and Cheeba in.

                DELACROIX
            Eureka!  Where've you been?

He hugs them both.

                DELACROIX (CONT'D)
            Sloan and I have been looking all
            over for you.

                CHEEBA
            You'd take no offense if we called
            you DeLa for short?

                DELACROIX
            No offense.

                CHEEBA
            Manray needs a job.

Delacroix smiles at Sloan.

                MANRAY
            We got evicted from our home.
            We've both been on the streets for
            the last week.

                CHEEBA
            We was coming to see you.

                MANRAY
            If it's not too much trouble could
            you order us some food?

                CHEEBA
            We're starving.

                DELACROIX
            I apologize.  What would you like
            to eat?  Anything you want.

TIME CUT

INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE - DAY

A feast of McDonald's is taking place.  Cheeba and Manray
are stuffing Big Macs, Fish Deluxes and large french fries
into their mouths.  They were famished.

                                          22.


                DELACROIX
            I have this concept for a TV pilot.
            There's no guarantee it will get
            made but regardless, you'll still
            make some money.

                CHEEBA
            How much?

                DELACROIX
            First things first.  I have to know
            if Manray is up for this.

                MANRAY
            What do I have to do?

                DELACROIX
            Some tap dancing, some singing.

                MANRAY
            Where do I sign?

                CHEEBA
            What kind of show is this gonna be?

                DELACROIX
            Different.

                MANRAY
            How different?

                DELACROIX
            Trust me.  Of course I still have
            to pitch it to my boss, but we'll
            have an answer one way or the other.

                MANRAY
            DeLa, I'm aboard.  As long as I get
            to hoof and get paid too!!!

                DELACROIX
            That's right.  Money turns the wheel.

                CHEEBA
            What about in the mean time?  Not
            the in between time?

                DELACROIX
            You'll both get an advance and you
            can stay with me.

                MANRAY
            Bet.

                                          23.


                DELACROIX
            I would like to change your name.

                MANRAY
            To what?

                DELACROIX
            You're now Mantan.

                MANRAY
            Mantan?  I don't even care as long
            as I'm dancing.  Which reminds me,
            I need some new kicks.

EXT. BROADWAY - DAY

Manray holds two Capezio shopping bags of shoes as he walks
next to Sloan.

                MANRAY
            I never had a really real pair
            before.

                SLOAN
            You've never had any formal
            training, either?

                MANRAY
            Not a class, not a thing, just
            picked stuff up by myself.

                SLOAN
            I wish I had your natural talent.
            God only makes that visit once in a
            while.

                MANRAY
            You sing and dance?

                SLOAN
            A little.  I just graduated from
            NYU film school.  Cinema studies.

                MANRAY
            So what's up with you and DeLa?

                SLOAN
            What do you mean?

                MANRAY
            Are you and him kicking it?
            Knocking boots.
            Y'knowwhatI'mtalkin'bout.

                                          24.


                SLOAN
            No, we're not knocking boots.  I
            got this internship while I still
            was at NYU, DeLa was impressed with
            my get up and go and hired me to be
            his assistant.

                MANRAY
            I'm sure that was the only thing he
            was impressed with.  You look
            beautiful like that.

                SLOAN
            If that was suppose to be a
            compliment, I thank you.

                MANRAY
            You're welcome.  You shouldn't give
            up on performing.

                SLOAN
            Why do you say that?  You've never
            seen me.

                MANRAY
            I think that would probably make
            you the happiest.  When I'm hoofing,
            I mean really doing my thing,
            hitting it, nothing compares to
            that feeling in the world.

                SLOAN
            I envy you.  That's the way I want
            to feel about my work.

EXT. HARLEM STREET - NIGHT

Sloan walks from the subway to her block.

ANGLE ON

Street.  A huge black Chevy Suburban follows her, all the
windows are tinted jet black, you cannot see it all into it.
She notices the vehicle and starts to walk faster.

ANGLE ON

Corner.  As Sloan tries to cross at the corner, the Suburban
pulls up in front of her, blocking her path.

ANGLE ON

Suburban.  A tall black man jumps out of the Chevy.  This is
BIG BLACK.

                                          25.


                BIG BLACK
            Li'l Sister.

ANGLE ON

Corner.

                SLOAN
            You idiot.  You almost gave me a
            massive coronary.

                BIG BLACK
            I didn't mean to scare you like that.

                SLOAN
            Well you did.

                BIG BLACK
            Give me some?

                SLOAN
            I'm not huggin' you in the middle
            of the street.  You must be crazy,
            Julius.

                BIG BLACK
            Whoa, hold up li'l sis'.  I done
            told you 'bout that.  Julius ain't
            my name, you better recognize
            Hopkins was our slave name.  My
            true name is...

                SLOAN
            I'm not callin you Big Black Africa.
            Mommy and Daddy named you Julius.

                BIG BLACK
            BIG BLACK is the first name and
            AFRICA is the last.

He hugs her, she becomes lost in his huge arms and laughs.

INT. SLOAN'S STUDIO APARTMENT - NIGHT

Big Black is rummaging through his sister's refrigerator.

                BIG BLACK
            Damn, Sis, you don't keep no food
            up in here in dis' piece.

                SLOAN
            I order out mostly.  So what do I
            owe this visit to?

                                          26.


                BIG BLACK
            My group we need some exposure.
            Was wondering if you could hook a
            brother up?

                SLOAN
            Hook you up?  The Mau-Mau's?  You
            must be smoking.  Why in the world
            would I want to hook up a bunch of
            red, black and green flag-waving
            pseudo revolutionairies?

                BIG BLACK
            So now I see where you're coming
            from.  Just because we ain't
            rapping about Gucci, Timberland,
            Rolex, Benz, Cristal, ho's and
            bitches, we're pseudo.

                SLOAN
            Who are you revolting against?

                BIG BLACK
            We're revolting against the powers
            that be, that been enslaving the
            minds and hearts of all people of
            color.  And we won't stop rapping
            till we bring about the overthrow
            of the government of the U.S. of A.

                SLOAN
            Please.

                BIG BLACK
            If you were really down you would
            get us together with that boss of
            yours.  What's his name again?

                SLOAN
            Delacroix.

                BIG BLACK
            Yeah, him.

                SLOAN
            What makes you think he would write
            a show about the Mau-Mau's.

                BIG BLACK
            C'mon, why not?  The Monkees had a
            show.  Look at all that other junk
            that's on TV.  We got underground
            cult following.

                                          27.


                SLOAN
            You don't have the demographics.

                BIG BLACK
            So are you telling me that you
            wouldn't even introduce me to
            Delacroix or set up a meeting?  I'm
            talking 'bout me, your only brother,
            ya own flesh and blood, hook a
            brother up, youknowwhatI'msayin'.

                SLOAN
            That'swhatI'msayin'.  I'm not
            blowin' my young career, brother or
            no brother, for you or anybody else.

                BIG BLACK
            There is a name, a term for your
            kind, the likes of you.  Back in
            slavery days, you would be
            classified as a house nigga.

                SLOAN
            If you think I'm a house nigga then
            that's your prerogative.  You got
            your ways to affect change, I have
            mine.  And I would appreciate it
            very much if you took ya field
            nigga ass out of my house.

                BIG BLACK
            My own sister throwin' me out.  I
            hope to seeya later when you get ya
            mind right.  Don't bother letting
            me out.

                SLOAN
            That's mighty black of you.

Big Black slams the door.

INT. DUNWITTY'S OFFICE - MORNING

One by one, the team enters the office and sits down on the
sofa.

                DUNWITTY
            Delacroix, I'm glad you got your
            mind right.

                DELACROIX
            It's right and tight.  Good morning,
            let me introduce you to everybody.
            You know my assistant, Sloan.

                                          28.


                SLOAN
            Hello.

                DELACROIX
            This is Cheeba.

                CHEEBA
            Nice to meet you.

                DELACROIX
            And this is Manray.

                MANRAY
            How do you do?

                DUNWITTY
            Good.  I like the names.  Very
            theatrical.

                DELACROIX
            We're all happy to be here and I'm
            going to paint a picture for you.

                DUNWITTY
            I'm wid it.

                DELACROIX
            I've done a lot of soul searching
            and once again you are right.  In
            my previous work it's been all
            surface, superficial.  I have never
            really dug deep.  Not anymore.  As
            Mark Twain fully understood satire
            is the way.  Race has always been a
            hot button in this country's
            history and it needs to be pushed
            harder.  If we are ever to live
            side by side in peace and harmony.
            It's about promoting racial healing.

                DUNWITTY
            Go on.  Good so far.

                DELACROIX
            I know you're familiar with minstrel
            shows.  They came about at the turn
            of the 19th century.  It was a
            variety show in which the talent
            was in blackface - singing, dancing,
            telling jokes, doing skits.
            Dunwitty, I ask you when was the
            last time there was a good variety
            show on the air.  Carol Burnett?
            HeeHaw?

                                          29.


                DUNWITTY
            Word!!!

                DELACROIX
            So let's take this great form, this
            very American tradition of
            entertainment into the 21st century,
            into the new millennium.

                DUNWITTY
            The name of the show?

                DELACROIX
            It is called: MANTAN - THE NEW
            MILLENNIUM MINSTREL SHOW.

                DUNWITTY
            I'm lovin' it.  You know how I know?
            Because I'm getting a boner, my
            Johnson is hard, no disrespect my
            sister.

Dunwitty starts walking around his office, pumping his first.

                DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
            I'm feelin' dis'!

                DELACROIX
            It will take a lot of courage and
            backbone on the part of the CNS to
            get this on the air.  In fact, I
            would understand fully if the
            subject matter is deemed too
            risque, too controversial.

                DUNWITTY
            Don't worry about that, that's my
            department.  Now who do we cast?
            We need a star.  Can Whoopi sing or
            dance?

                DELACROIX
            I don't know if Whoopi is the way
            to go.

                DUNWITTY
            Are these our two stars, sitting
            here in front of my nose?  Which
            one is Mantan again?

                MANTAN
            That's me.

                                          30.


                DELACROIX
            And Cheeba is Sleep 'n' Eat.

CLOSE ON

Cheeba.  A look of surprise is on his face.  Complete, utter
surprise.

                DUNWITTY
            That's a great handle.

                DELACROIX
            Mantan and Sleep 'n Eat.  Two real
            coons.  I know we're way out there
            but it's satire.

                DUNWITTY
            I want you take it there.  All the
            way to the edge and back.

Sloan looks at Delacroix with concern.

                DELACROIX
            Every week we follow the trials and
            tribulations of two real coons -
            Mantan and Sleep 'n Eat.  The Dusky
            Duo.

                DUNWITTY
            What are there character traits?

                DELACROIX
            Ignorant, dullwitted, lazy, and
            unlucky.

                DUNWITTY
            Exactly!

                DELACROIX
            Mantan is an uneducated Negro who
            always by some stroke of
            unbelievable stupidity makes his
            best laid plans go haywire.

                DUNWITTY
            And Sleep 'n Eat is his comical
            sidekick?

                DELACROIX
            Yep, you guessed it.

                DUNWITTY
            This could be bigger than "Amos and
            Andy."

                                          31.


                DELACROIX
            Protest finally forced "Amos and
            Andy" off the air.  Could stop us
            from ever getting on.

                DUNWITTY
            Let'em try.  I will kill to make
            this happen.

Delacroix looks at Sloan.

                DELACROIX
            Negroes would be in an uproar.

                DUNWITTY
            So what.  We would just give the
            NAACP a donation that would be the
            end of that.  No such thing as bad
            publicity.  So what.  Earlier you
            said singing and dancing.

                DELACROIX
            Mantan right here is a gifted
            hoofer.  He has educated feet.

                DUNWITTY
            Who are the other characters?

                DELACROIX
            Do we have characters?  How about
            Honeycutt, Snowflake, Rastus,
            Nigger, Jim, Sambo, Jungle Bunny,
            and how could we forget Aunt Jemima.

Dunwitty is dying with laughter.  He's the only one.

                DUNWITTY
            We gonna hit 'em wid da BOMB DICKEY
            on dis' one.  What's the setting?

                DELACROIX
            In the projects.  Like Eddie
            Murphy's "The PJ's."

                DUNWITTY
            Ya first bad move.  Projects been
            done.  That's one of the problems
            now, everything, movies, TV, are
            set in the urban jungle, da hood.
            That's so tired.  Mantan's
            Millennium Minstrel Show should be
            set on a plantation.  In Alabama.
                (MORE)

                                          32.


                DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
            And every week these Alabama porch
            monkeys will make us cry, make us
            laugh, make us look at our own
            humanity.  Make us feel good to be
            alive.

                DELACROIX
            I don't know about that plantation
            angle.

                DUNWITTY
            What are you talkin' 'bout?  It's
            the move.  Stay wid me now.  We're
            movin' fast.  What does everybody
            else think about this?

                SLOAN
            We'd get a lot of mail.

She laughs, it's a fake one at that.

                SLOAN (CONT'D)
            Mr. Dunwitty, there wouldn't be
            another show like it.

                CHEEBA
            I've always wanted to be on
            television.

                DUNWITTY
            I like you.  Sleep 'n Eat.  That's
            funny.  Mantan, how do you feel
            about performing in black face?

                MANTAN
            As long as the hoofing is real,
            that I can do my thing, I can
            blacken up.  Let me hit it, beats
            and rhythms, express myself.

                DUNWITTY
            Show me a little somethin' somethin'.

Mantan starts to put on his new tap shoes.

                DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
            Delacroix, you dug deep, deeper
            than deep.

Mantan is ready.

                                          33.


                MANTAN
            I'm gonna give you just a taste.
            My tap shoes are brand new.  I
            haven't trained 'em yet.

He starts to work out.

                MANTAN (CONT'D)
            Rhythms, rhythms, rhythms.  Beats,
            beats, beats.  No Fred Astaire
            here, baby.  Just rawness.

Dunwitty clears his desk of everything, just knocks stuff
flying onto the floor.  And Mantan taking the cue, jumps up
on his desk and really starts hitting it.

CLOSE ON

Delacroix, as he watches his creation, it's not a happy face.

CLOSE ON

Mantan, he's bringing it home.  With the final move, he
leaps off the desk into the middle of the office, and FREEZES.

ANGLE ON

The office.

                DUNWITTY
            That'swhatI'mtalkin''bout.
            That'swhatI'mtalkin''bout!  He's
            off the hiz-hook!

                DELACROIX
            We think so.

                DUNWITTY
            Sleep 'n Eat, what do you do?

                CHEEBA
            I play the straight man.  I do some
            singing and dancing also.  I also
            manage Mantan.

                DUNWITTY
            Oh you do so?

                CHEEBA
            I'm the man behind the man behind
            the man.

                DUNWITTY
            You da man.

                                          34.


                CHEEBA
            No, you da man.

                DUNWITTY
            I'm gonna run upstairs with this.
            If CNS doesn't want to do this,
            somebody else will have da balls to
            pull the trigger.  I want to thank
            each and every one of you.  This is
            great, Delacroix.  I'll get back to
            you later today.

EXT. STREET - DAY

Cheeba and Mantan are walking in midtown Manhattan.  They
both have a pep in their step, money in their pockets, and a
roof over their heads.

                CHEEBA
            Life is beginning to look up.  It's
            all good in da neighborhood.

                MANTAN
            You might be right.

                CHEEBA
            Why are you smiling so?

His smile is a mile wide.

                MANTAN
            I'm not smiling.

                CHEEBA
            Naw, not you.  It can't be.  That
            hottie Sloan Hopkins.

                MANTAN
            It's that bad, huh?  It's all over
            my face.

                CHEEBA
            No shame in ya game.  She got ya
            nostrils, ya chnoz is wide open.
            Sloan's what we certified ladies'
            men call low hanging fruit.

                MANTAN
            Certified ladies' man, huh?

                CHEEBA
            She's also moorish.

                                          35.


                MANTAN
            What's that?

                CHEEBA
            Moorish.  Ya get a little taste of
            dat booty, ya wanna get some MORE.

                MANTAN
            Seconds and thirds, too.

                CHEEBA
            Sloan is all 'dat.  I try her.  I'm
            a tri-sexual.

                MANTAN
            You'd try anything.  I got first
            dibs.  You get ya own stuff.

                CHEEBA
            Naw, just jokin'.  That's you.
            That's you.

INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Delacroix sits with Manray and Cheeba in the living room.

                DELACROIX
            I want you to start using the name
            Mantan and not Manray if you don't
            mind.

                MANRAY
            Why?

                DELACROIX
            You have to start getting into your
            character.

                CHEEBA
            At the risk of sounding ignorant...

Cheeba turns quickly towards Manray.

                CHEEBA (CONT'D)
            ...don't say a word but who is this
            cat Mantan you keep talkin' 'bout?

Delacroix hits the remote button.  The TV and VCR are powered.

CLOSE ON

Television.  We see MANTAN MORELAND in some obscure movie.

                                          36.


                DELACROIX (O.S.)
            This is Mantan Moreland.

CLOSER ON

Television.  Mantan reacts to seeing a ghost.

                DELACROIX (O.S.) (CONT'D)
            He was a clown, a buffoon but he
            was funny.

ANGLE ON

Living room.

                CHEEBA
            That ain't funny.

                MANRAY
            DeLa, I don't know 'bout this.

                DELACROIX
            Gentlemen, the show, our show will
            be satirical.  You know what that
            is, don't you?  Trust me on this one.

                CHEEBA
            We might need some mo' money behind
            this.

                DELACROIX
            That can be done.

                MANRAY
            Mantan?

                DELACROIX
            Mantan!!

INT. RECORDING STUDIO - NIGHT

THE MAU-MAU's in full effect, bob their heads to the funky
track that blasts from the studio monitors.

ANGLE ON

Studio.  They pass around joints that look like they've been
on steroids and 64 ounce JUGULARS of DA BOMB MALT LIQUOR -
liquid crack, the preferred alcoholic beverage of GHETTO
NEGROES.  All the members of the MAU-MAU's are AFRICAN
AMERICAN except one.  There is one Caucasian member.  He
goes by the name 1/16th BLACK, the engineer tech-whiz kid
computer geek.

                                          37.


                1/16TH BLACK
            Yo, Big Black, we needs a name for
            this joint.

                BIG BLACK
            How 'bout...

Big Black takes a long, long drag on a joint, then he
quickly empties a 64 oz. in one swing without missing a
beat, without missing a head nod.

                BIG BLACK (CONT'D)
            Black Iz Black?

The whole group goes crazy with the title of the song.

                DOUBLE BLACK
            That's da bomb.

                MO BLACK
            That's gonna give me some
            inspiration.

                JO BLACK
            Gonna make me get my flow on.

                BIG BLACK
            We should call dis da BLACK album.

Everyone starts high-fiving each other.

                SMOOTH BLACK
            Yo, check it out.  We have never
            conformed to none of the white
            man's rules and regulations and
            later for that ole slave owner
            Webster.  Therefore I respectfully
            submit BIG BLACK that we from now
            on, hence forth and whatnot spell
            BLACK: B-L-A-K, not B-L-A-C-K.

                HARD BLACK
            I feel dat.

                1/16TH BLACK
            B-L-A-K.  BLAK.  The darkest of all
            colors, the opposite of white.  A
            member of an African people.  But
            check it out, here's where the grey
            people try to get slick with their
            trickery.  Listen to the full
            connotations.  GLOOMY.  DEPRESSING.
            EVIL.  WICKED.  ANGRY.  SULLEN.
                (MORE)

                                          38.


                1/16TH BLACK (CONT'D)
            BLAK OUT.  BLAK LISTED.  BLAK BALL.
            Need I say more.

                BIG BLACK
            B-L-A-K it is.

INT. HOUSE - NIGHT

A middle-aged African-American woman is working in the
kitchen.  Delacroix sits at the kitchen table talking with
her.  This is his MOM, ORCHID DOTHAN.

Orchid puts a plate of food in front of her son.

                ORCHID
            You must think I'm some kind of fool.

                DELACROIX
            It looks delicious.

                ORCHID
            You hear me talkin' to you.  The
            only time you come up here when
            something is wrong.

                DELACROIX
            C'mon, Mommy, don't start with that
            I'm an ungrateful son stuff.

                ORCHID
            I said no such thing.  All I said
            is that something must be wrong.

She sits down with him.

                ORCHID (CONT'D)
            How's the food?

                DELACROIX
            Can't beat it with a hammer.  Well,
            since you asked, it looks like I
            may have a new show, a pilot being
            shot.

                ORCHID
            That's wonderful.  Isn't that what
            you always wanted, a show of your
            own?

He talks between mouthfuls.

                                          39.


                DELACROIX
            It was.  It is.  But this is a
            different kind of show.

                ORCHID
            If at first it's not what you want,
            just work that much harder, Peerless.

                DELACROIX
            Mommy, please don't call me that.

                ORCHID
            Son, Peerless is your name.  Now
            you might be one of these Hollywood
            types, change your name and all
            that but Peerless Dothan is on your
            birth certificate.

                DELACROIX
            I know what's on my birth
            certificate.  You heard from Daddy?

                ORCHID
            I guess he's still on the road.
            What kind of show is this?  Are
            they some Negroes in it without
            being buffoons?

                DELACROIX
            To answer your question, there are
            a lot of Negroes in it and what is
            your definition of buffoons?

                ORCHID
            Peerless, I didn't raise a buffoon.
            We have enough of those on
            television already.

                DELACROIX
            Please let me know when you hear
            from Daddy, get a number or
            something.

                ORCHID
            I will.  And good luck with your
            show.  I hope it's a huge success.
            You've worked very hard.  You
            deserve it.

Delacroix gets up from his seat and hugs his mother.

                                          40.


INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT

A celebration is going on as Delacroix, Sloan, Cheeba and
Mantan sit at a table.

ANGLE ON

Table.  Cheeba and Mantan are giddy.  Sloan looks at
Delacroix who is visibly not happy.

                SLOAN
            You okay?

                DELACROIX
            I feel like somebody hit me upside
            da head with a sledgehammer.

                CHEEBA
            DeLa - what's the matter with you.

                MANTAN
            You ain't happy about the green
            light?

                SLOAN
            People show their happiness in a
            lot of different ways.

                MANTAN
            Well, homeboy, looks like he's at a
            funeral.

                DELACROIX
            I'm happy for all of us.  It's just
            we have a great responsibility now.
            The pressure is on.

                MANTAN
            Pressure?  DeLa, you don't know
            what the hell real pressure is.
            SHEEETT!!!  This is lightstuff.
            Now when you scramblin' out on the
            street in da January winter and the
            hawk is talkin' to you with NO
            money and NO prospects of money
            anytime soon, now that there is
            some pressure.

                DELACROIX
            I didn't mean it to sound like that.

                                          41.


                MANTAN
            That's the way it came out.  Let me
            ask you one question.  Have you
            ever been in want, in need your
            entire privileged life?

                DELACROIX
            Now I'm privileged?!  Why?  Because
            I didn't grow up on food stamps and
            welfare?  Because I didn't call
            home a cardboard box?  No, I never
            ever went to bed hungry and I'm
            proud of it, too.  Whoever told you
            that living in poverty earns you
            somekind of badge of honor flat out
            lied to you.

                MANTAN
            The point I'm trying to make is
            that this is a blessing.  It's
            going to be fun doing this show and
            we should all look at it that way.

Delacroix gets up from the table and leaves.

                CHEEBA
            What's wrong with him?

                MANTAN
            Must be the pressure.

Cheeba and Mantan laugh, give each other some dap.  A highly
attractive PUERTO RICAN female walks over to their table.
This is JESSICA GRILLO.

                JESSICA
            Sorry I'm late.

Cheeba and Mantan are in awe.

                SLOAN
            Hey, girl.  This is my best friend,
            Jessica Grillo.  I invited her down
            to celebrate with us.

                CHEEBA
            I'm Cheeba.

                MANTAN
            I'm Mantan.

They both rise.

                                          42.


                CHEEBA
            Please, have a seat.

                MANTAN
            Sloan never told us she had friends
            like you.

                CHEEBA
            In fact, we never knew she had any
            friends period.

                SLOAN
            Later for you.

                JESSICA
            She has a lot of friends

                CHEEBA
            Male?

                JESSICA
            Yes.

                MANTAN
            A lot?

                SLOAN
            Enough.

Sloan and Jessica laugh at the expense of these guys.

                JESSICA
            I propose a toast.

She grabs an empty glass and pours herself some champagne.

                JESSICA (CONT'D)
            To the success of your show.  Good
            luck.

Everyone raises their glasses.  CLINK!

                SLOAN
            Excuse me.

Sloan gets up from the table and takes after Delacroix.

ANGLE ON

Steps. Sloan catches up with Delacroix at the rest room area.

                SLOAN (CONT'D)
            Wait here.

                                          43.


She goes to the ladies' cubicle.

CLOSE ON

Delacroix.  He leans against the wall.

ANGLE ON

Bathroom door.  Sloan comes out, grabs him inside.

INT. LADIES' ROOM - NIGHT

Sloan locks the door.

                SLOAN
            What is your problem?

                DELACROIX
            My problem is MANTAN THE NEW
            MILLENIUM MINSTREL SHOW.

                SLOAN
            Why did you even come up with that
            shit if you didn't want it made?

                DELACROIX
            It was the principle.  Dunwitty had
            to be enlightened.  I was making a
            point.  I take pride in my work.
            Plus, I already told you I wasn't
            gonna walk away from my money.

                SLOAN
            Fuck da money.  Why do through all
            this effort?  Why?  Are you looking
            for love from Dunwitty?  For
            respect?  Dunwitty and his likes
            don't give a goddamn about you.  So
            now what are you gonna do?

Someone begins to pound on the bathroom door.

                WOMAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
            Will you please let me in?  I have
            to use the toilet.

                SLOAN
            You're gonna have to hold it in
            because we're not finished yet...

She returns her attention to Delacroix.

                SLOAN (CONT'D)
            ...QUIT then.

                                          44.


                DELACROIX
            Even if money wasn't an issue,
            Dunwitty will still go ahead
            without me and that could be more
            dangerous.

                SLOAN
            What's the chances of MANTAN being
            picked up?

                DELACROIX
            I wouldn't bet against it.  My
            Negroidal ass is stuck between the
            proverbial rock and a hard place.

                SLOAN
            Like I said, all this for some
            twisted, distorted sense of
            principal.  Dunwitty, he just
            tolerates your Negroidal ass, he
            doesn't respect it.

The banging starts again.

                MANAGER'S VOICE (O.S.)
            Please open this bathroom door
            immediately.  You are being very
            inconsiderate.

Sloan unlocks the door and they exit.

ANGLE ON

Ladies' bathroom.  Sloan and Delacroix file past the strange
looks of the manager and FIVE WOMEN waiting to use the
bathroom as they rush in.

INT. DUNWITTY'S OFFICE - MORNING

                DELACROIX
            I strongly feel that a Negro should
            direct this.  This kind of satire
            is a high wire act in a gale storm.
            One misstep and we're doing "Amos
            and Andy."  Only a Negro will have
            the sensitivity and cultural
            awareness to navigate this dangerous
            terrain.

                DUNWITTY
            To hire someone solely on their
            ethnicity, gender or religion is
            not right.  It's un-American.  I
            will hire someone who is most
            qualified for this particular job.

                                          45.


                DELACROIX
            I was hoping to perhaps direct some
            episodes myself, if not the pilot
            soon after.

                DUNWITTY
            I want a hot, young white director.
            Maybe the kid, that pheenom who
            just did that hot new sexy Madonna
            video.

                DELACROIX
            You're telling me some white boy is
            gonna direct this pilot?

                DUNWITTY
            I just want you to meet him.  Keep
            an open mind.

                DELACROIX
            Besides, what does he know about
            Negroes?

                DUNWITTY
            Probably nuthin', but that's why
            it's such a sexy way to go.
            Sometimes an outsider has a fresh
            new outlook, a different unique
            perspective.  A black director,
            y'know what he's gonna do given the
            subject matter?  With this kid, the
            possibilities are endless.

                DELACROIX
            What are his qualifications besides
            being a white male and directing a
            hot new sexy freaky Madonna video?

                DUNWITTY
            If Spielburg can direct "The Color
            Purple" and "Amistad", our whiz kid
            can direct the Mantan pilot.

                DELACROIX
            That's exactly my point.  Has he
            even directed actors before in
            anything?

                DUNWITTY
            No!!!  Just meet the guy.  That's
            all I'm asking.  Look, I'll even
            let you choose your own musical
            director.  You can have that.

                                          46.


                DELACROIX
            In the immortal words of Derrick
            Coleman, WHOOOPDEEDAMNDOO!!!

                DUNWITTY
            Derrick Coleman, he possessed all
            the talent in the world, coulda,
            shoulda, been a great ballplayer
            but alas D.C. didn't want it bad
            enough.  Delacroix, do you want it?
            Bad enough to kill for it?  Do you
            want it that much.

Delacroix stares at Dunwitty.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - NEXT DAY

Delacroix, followed by Sloan, enters the room full of writers.

CLOSE ON

Delacroix

He surveys the room.

P.O.V. - DELACROIX

All of the writers are Caucasian - male and female.  Every
single last one.

ANGLE ON

Conference room.  Delacroix and Sloan sit down at the head
of the long oval table.

                DELACROIX
            Good morning, for those of you who
            don't know me, I'm Pierre Delacroix.
            I'm running things and this here is
            my assistant Sloan Hopkins.

                SLOAN
            Hello.

                DELACROIX
            I've never worked with any of you
            and you've never worked with me so
            we'll be starting from scratch.
            I'm a fair person, a straight
            shooter and I don't hold my tongue.
            Everybody up in here should know I
            had nothing to do with you being
            hired.
                (MORE)

                                          47.


                DELACROIX (CONT'D)
            I would have preferred at least one
            other Negro writer.  Any questions?
            Comments?

MONA raises her hand.

                DELACROIX (CONT'D)
            Yes, your name?

                MONA
            He, I'm Mona.

                DELACROIX
            Hi, Mona.

                MONA
            I perfectly understand where you're
            coming from.  As a minority I can
            relate to your struggle also.  But
            I think you should give us all a
            chance.  We want this pilot to be
            successful just as much as you.
            Please don't be so quick to judge
            us based only on our whiteness.

                DELACROIX
            Oh, is that what I'm doing?

BETH jumps in.

                BETH
            I think because of our background
            we can bring a unique perspective
            to Mantan.

SETH pipes in also.

                SETH
            A fresh pair of eyes.  A new look,
            insight, new angle that hasn't been
            seen before.

                DELACROIX
            I've heard this somewhere before.

David raises his hand.

                                          48.


                DAVID
            My name is David.  I do think it
            would be better to have some
            African-American writers but for
            whatever reason they are not here.
            I don't know if they couldn't find
            any people with experience, they
            wouldn't work for the pay or
            refused to work for the show.  I
            don't know and nobody in this room
            probably knows either.  I'm looking
            at this as a unique opportunity.
            We all should.  I'm a damn good
            writer and I'm ready to go to work.

Everyone in the room applauds.  Sloan looks at Delacroix.

FREEZE FRAME

                DELACROIX (V.O.)
            This thing was rigged, the deck was
            stacked, the fix was in.  Could Don
            King be near?  Good thing Sloan had
            my back.  She's my rock.  This was
            going to be a whole lot of work.

UN-FREEZE FRAME

                DELACROIX (CONT'D)
            David, I appreciate your comments.
            Anybody got an ideas?  Everybody
            just talk out loud.

                MONA
            I've always liked the format of
            Rowan and Martin's "LAUGH-IN."

                ANNA
            That could be cool.

                KIRK
            What about something like "The
            Jeffersons?"  I grew up in Idaho so
            that's how I got my understanding
            of black people.  Through Sherman
            Helmsley, LOUISSEE!!!.

                DAVID
            "Good Times" was better.  Kid Dy-no
            mite!!!

                                          49.


                AARON
            You pole are going to far back for
            me.  I think we have to go after a
            hipper feel.  Like the stuff Eddie
            Murphy used to do on "Saturday
            Night Live."

                PETER
            Or Martin.  You go girl.

                JEFF
            What about the  black exploitation
            films?  No one has ever tried
            making that work on TV.

                DAVID
            And for reason.  Have you ever seen
            "Scream Blacula, Scream?"

                MONA
            I think, and Delacroix will agree
            with me, the politics of this show
            have to be right.  We should always
            be laughing with our characters,
            not at them.

CLOSE ON

Delacroix, as the writers continue to ramble on, he lets
them jerk off.

                DELACROIX (V.O.)
            The mission was accomplished.  All
            of these people left the room
            thinking they would have real input.
            I was writing this pilot alone,
            myself, me.

EXT. STREET - DAY

A long line reaches down the block and around the corner.
It's a "cattle call," open auditions for "Mantan."

                DELACROIX (V.O.)
            Now came the fun part, finding the
            talented performers to cast in the
            show.

WE DOLLY past the hundreds and hundreds of unemployed
African American actors, many of them dressed in various
costumes.

                                          50.


                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            Everybody and their mother was
            trying to get in, trying to be seen.
            Trying to get their piece of the
            rock.

INT. REHEARSAL SPACE - DAY

Delacroix sits in the first row with Sloan, RUTH, an African
American casting director.  LEVI, the musical director, also
black, is on the stage at the piano.

AUDITION MONTAGE

WE SEE singers, magicians, dancers, acrobats, comedians,
rappers.  Some good, most are terrible.  Many come out on
stage dressed like mammies, Stepin' Fetchit, slaves, pimps,
ho's, hustlers, and basketball players.  It is a cavalcade
of all the stereotypical roles one has seen.

ANGLE ON

Space.  LULU, a spoken word artist, goes her rendition of
"WAY DOWN ON THE SWANEE RIVER."

                DELACROIX (V.O.)
            This was amazing.  Who had told
            these Negroes that this was what we
            were looking for?  The same old
            image, it damn for sure wasn't me.

CLOSE ON

Lulu.

                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            Were people this desperate to get
            work?

CLOSE ON

Delacroix.  He interrupts Lulu.

                DELACROIX (CONT'D)
            Thanks, Ms. Lulu.

                LULU
            But I had several more poems.

                DELACROIX
            That's good.  We've seen enough.
            We'll get back to you.

Lulu scurries off stage.

                                          51.


                RUTH (O.S.)
            Next.

The Mau-Mau's run onto the stage, yelling and screaming.

They are all fired up, in fact several fire their 9mm's into
the ceiling.

ANGLE - TWO SHOT

Delacroix and Sloan.

                SLOAN
            This is the group I was telling you
            about.

                DELACROIX
            Which one is your brother?

                SLOAN
            The big one.

CLOSE ON

Ruth.

                RUTH
            Let's get started here.

ANGLE ON

STAGE

Big Black preens around on the stage.

                BIG BLACK
            The Mau-Mau's are up in dis place.
            That's right, the Mau-Mau's.

                DELACROIX (O.S.)
            What's your name?

                BIG BLACK
            My righteous name is BIG BLACK.

                DELACROIX (O.S.)
            And what are the Mau-Mau's going to
            do for us today?

                BIG BLACK
            We gonna drop some knowledge,
            wisdom and understanding.  The Mau-
            Mau's, we be scientists.  We drop
            science.

                                          52.


CLOSE ON

Sloan, who's trying to disappear.  If she sits any lower
she'll be under her seat.

ON DELACROIX

                DELACROIX
            We're ready when you are.

ON STAGE

                BIG BLACK
            Microphone check.  One.  Two.  One.
            Two.  One.  Two.  Hold up.  I gots
            to give my peeps some props.
            Brothers introduce yourself.

                DOUBLE BLACK
            Yo, I'm Double Black.

                BLACK BLACK
            Check it, Black Black.

                SMOOTH BLACK
            I'm Smooth Black, the lover in dis'
            piece.

                HARD BLACK
            Hard Black.

                MO BLACK
            He's Jo Black.

                JO BLACK
            And he's Mo Black.

                1/16TH BLACK
            I'm last but not least, you can
            call me 1/16th Black.

ON DELACROIX

                DELACROIX
            Good.  We're really blacked-oops,
            backed up, so shall we begin?

ON STAGE

                BIG BLACK
            Microphone check.  One.  Two.  One.
            Two.  Yo, the name of this joint is
            BLAK IZ BLAK.  Hit it.

                                          53.


The booming track starts and the Mau-Mau's do their thing,
bouncing all over the stage.  The lyrics about everything
that is BLAK!!!

ON DELACROIX

A look of disbelief is on his face.

                DELACROIX (V.O.)
            Needless to say, the Mau-Mau's did
            not fit into our plans.

ON SLOAN

She's in shock, horrified.

                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            As I told Sloan, there's a black
            sheep in every family.

BACKSTAGE - LATER THAT DAY

Delacroix is screaming at the top of his lungs.

                DELACROIX (CONT'D)
            Finland.  This is a travesty.  A
            debacle.  A mockery.

INT. LOBBY

Dunwitty approaches Delacroix in the lobby of the rehearsal
space.  He is with JUKKA, a young, very young blonde kid.

                DUNWITTY
            Delacroix.  This is the director I
            was telling you about.  Jukka Laks.

                JUKKA
            So nice to meet you.

                DELACROIX
            Nice to meet you.  If you don't
            mind me asking you - how old are you?

                JUKKA
            I just turned twenty.

                DUNWITTY
            I'm gonna leave you two creative
            geniuses alone.

                DELACROIX
            Dunwitty, don't leave.

                                          54.


Dunwitty is out.

                DELACROIX (CONT'D)
            Where are you from?

                JUKKA
            Helsinki, which is the capital of
            Finland.

                DELACROIX
            Finland.

                JUKKA
            You know, Finlandia vodka?  Yes?

                DELACROIX
            Yes, I know.  Jukka, have you ever
            seen a Negro person before?  Even
            had a real conversation with a real
            Negro before?

                JUKKA
            What's a Negro.

INT. BACKSTAGE

Delacroix continues to rant and rave.  Sloan is unsuccessful
in attempting to make him be quiet.

                DELACROIX
            A fiasco.  A disaster.  A boondoggle.
            An abomination.

INT. LOBBY

                DELACROIX
            Did you just ask me what's a Negro?
            I'M A NEGRO!!!

                JUKKA
            Ahhh!!!  I never heard of that term
            before.  I thought you were BLACK
            of African-American.  No?

                DELACROIX
            Well before there was BLACK or
            AFRICAN AMERICAN, there were
            NEGROES.  I'M A NEGRO.

                JUKKA
            Thank you for correcting my
            ignorance.  I'm looking forward to
            working side by side with you.  I
            feel we make a good team.

                                          55.


                DELACROIX
            How did you get this gig?

                JUKKA
            My visual style is very erotic,
            sexy, how do you say - hot?

                DELACROIX
            This is a TV show, not a music video.

                JUKKA
            Then will you teach me what I need
            to know.  Maybe we learn from each
            other, if that's possible, no?

INT. BACKSTAGE - MOMENTS LATER

                DELACROIX
            This is a travesty.  A debacle.

                SLOAN
            You've said that already.

                DELACROIX
            I'm gonna slit my wrists.  Cut my
            throat.  For the love of Joseph.

INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE - NEW DAY

He's sitting behind his desk, reading new "pink" revisions
of the "MANTAN" pilot.  He screams.

                DELACROIX
            For the love of Joseph and Mary.

Delacroix bolts out from his office.

INT. DUNWITTY'S OFFICE - DAY

Delacroix charges in as Dunwitty and Jukka go over the same
"pink" revisions.

                DELACROIX
            I will not be held responsible for
            these revisions.  These changes are
            not the way I want to go.  This is
            an outrage.  This is a sham.  A
            violation!

                DUNWITTY
            Calm down, please.

                JUKKA
            In Finland, when we get upset...

                                          56.


                DELACROIX
            I don't give a good goddamn about
            Finland, Norway, Sweden or wherever
            ya blond ass came from.

                DUNWITTY
            We just punched it up a bit.  Made
            it funnier.

                DELACROIX
            Funnier to who and at who's expense?
            Dunwitty, when Negroes start to run
            amok, the boycotts, when the
            demostrations commence, I'm giving
            them your home address.  Let's see
            how you like it when they picket
            your lawn in Greenwich, Connecticut.

                DUNWITTY
            I seriously doubt that will ever
            happen.  Didn't I tell you I know
            your people better than you do.
            But if by some miracle you're
            correct, I'm gonna invite them
            inside my house and we'll have a
            sit down, discuss it like civil
            human beings.

INT. STUDIO - NIGHT

Much activity is going on.  People are moving to and fro.
WE FOLLOW Delacroix and Sloan.

EXT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Delacroix knocks and they enter.

INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM

Mantan sits in front of his mirror.

                DELACROIX
            Just want to say good luck.

                SLOAN
            Break a leg.

She gives Mantan a kiss on his cheek.

                DELACROIX
            Wait a minute.  Hold up.

They all laugh.

                                          57.


                DELACROIX (CONT'D)
            Can I kiss you too?

                MANTAN
            Naw.  I'll take the zero.

                DELACROIX
            You feel good, not nervous?

                MANTAN
            I feel fine.

                DELACROIX
            Not nervous?  Relaxed?

                MANTAN
            Sloan, will you take your boss out
            of here so I can get ready.

EXT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT

Sloan and Delacroix enter the dressing room.

INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            How's the audience?

                DELACROIX
            Fired up.

                SLOAN
            How you feelin'?

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            Good.  I'm not sure about this
            material.

                DELACROIX
            The material is fine.

Sloan cuts a look at this liar.

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            You really think so?

                DELACROIX
            We're trying to do something new
            here, some groundbreaking stuff.

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            It's the bone breaking stuff I'm
            worried about.

                                          58.


                SLOAN
            Everything's gonna be alright.  You
            and Mantan will be huge stars after
            tonight.

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            You really think so?

                DELACROIX
            Your life will never be the same.

                SLOAN
            Let's leave the man in peace so he
            can get ready.

INT. BACKSTAGE

                SLOAN
            We both lied to him.

                DELACROIX
            What do you want me to say?

                SLOAN
            Just don't lie to me.

INT. STAGE - NIGHT

HONEYCUTT, a rotund, elder black man who is one of cast
members, is warming the audience up.

ON AUDIENCE

It's very young and diverse.  They are laughing at the comic
stylings of Honeycutt.

INT. CONTROL BOOTH - NIGHT

Delacroix and Sloan take their seats.

                DELACROIX
            Good luck, Jukka.  Do a good show.

                JUKKA
            Thank you very much.  I always try
            my best.

INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM

Mantan is slowly getting dressed.  He puts on an old,
tattered tails (tuxedo).

                                          59.


INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM

Sleep 'N Eat is also getting dressed.  He wears a worn
Pullman Porter uniform with red hat to match.

INT. CONTROL ROOM - NIGHT

Dunwitty with his black wife in hand, VERNA moves toward
Delacroix and Sloan.

                DUNWITTY
            I want you to meet my lovely wife
            Verna.  Honey, this is Pierre
            Delacroix and Sloan Hopkins.

                VERNA
            Nice to meet you.

                DELACROIX
            Same here.

                SLOAN
            The pleasure is mine.

                VERNA
            My husband has been raving about
            the awesome work you've done.  How
            did you ever think of something
            like this?  It's absolutely
            brilliant.  Pure genius.

                DELACROIX
            I guess it was divine inspiration.

                VERNA
            Hope to see you both after the
            taping.  Congrats in advance.

ON CONTROL BOOTH

Verna and Dunwitty go to the front of the control booth.

TWO SHOT

Delacroix and Sloan.

                SLOAN
            Divine inspiration?

She laughs.

                DELACROIX
            I was trying to be nice.

                                          60.


                SLOAN
            I want to apologize about my
            brother and the Mau-Mau's.  I
            should not have imposed them on you.

                DELACROIX
            C'mon.  You were only doing what
            family is supposed to be doing for
            family.  You gave your brother a
            shot.  That's all anybody can ask
            for, an opportunity, a chance, a
            shot.  He got his.

INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM

Mantan is in front of his dressing room mirror.

ON MIRROR

Mantan looks, stares at his reflection.

INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM

Sleep 'N Eat is staring at himself also.

INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM

CLOSE ON MANTAN

                SLOAN (V.O.)
            We should blacken up like they did
            it back in the day.  Keep the
            ritual the same.

Mantan puts some corks in a dish.

                SLOAN (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            Pour some alcohol on the corks,
            then light it.

INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM

Sleep 'N Eat strikes a match to his corks in a dish.

CLOSE ON SLEEP 'N EAT

He watches the cork burn.

                SLOAN (V.O.)
            Let them burnt to a crisp, and when
            burnt out, mash them to a powder.

                                          61.


INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM

Mantan is mashing the corks.

                SLOAN (V.O.)
            Add water, mix to a thick paste.

INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM

Sleep 'N Eat is mixing it all together.

                SLOAN (V.O.)
            And voila!  You have your blackface.

INT. STAGE - NIGHT

The audience, which has become restless, starts a rhythmic
clap.

                SLOAN (V.O.)
            Please put cocoa butter on your
            face and hands...

INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM

ON MANTAN'S HANDS

                SLOAN (V.O.)
            To protect your skin.

He applies cocoa butter to his hands.

INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM

ON SLEEP 'N EAT'S FACE

He rubs cocoa butter all over his face.

INT. STAGE - NIGHT

CLOSE ON HANDS

Audience hands are clapping faster.

ON FEET

They're stomping.

INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM

ON MIRROR

Mantan blacks up his face.

                                          62.


WE HEAR THE POUNDING OF THE FEET STOMPING AND THE HANDS
CLAPPING.

INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM

ON MIRROR

Sleep 'N Eat blacks up also.

                SLOAN (V.O.)
            The final detail...

INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM

ON LIPS

                SLOAN (V.O.)
            ...are the lips.

Mantan is applying lipstick.

INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM

ON LIPS

Sleep 'N Eat is puckering his lips as he too puts on the
lipstick.

                SLOAN (V.O.)
            The redder the lipstick the better.
            I suggest firetruck red.

ON MIRROR

For the first time WE SEE SLEEP 'N EAT in FULL BLACK FACE.

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            Show...

INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM

ON MIRROR

Mantan in FULL BLACK FACE.

                MANTAN
            ...TIME!!!

INT. STAGE - NIGHT

The audience is in an uproar when the lights go down.  They
applaud and they quiet as the CURTAIN GOES UP on a bucolic
setting.  It is a combination of WATERMELON PATCH and COTTON
FIELD.

                                          63.


ON STAGE

First Sleep 'N Eat then Mantan shuffles onto the stage.

                MANTAN
            This is my best friend Sleep 'N Eat.

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            And this is my very best friend
            Mantan.

                BOTH
            We're two real COONS!

The audience lets out nervous laughter.  They don't know
what to think.

                MANTAN
            We both left the hustle and bustle
            of Uptown, Harlem...

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            ...the big apple, New York, New York.

                MANTAN
            To come back to our roots.

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            Our Alabamy Home.  Now we're
            getting countrified.  We is Bama's.

                MANTAN
            No mo' "city slickers."  Ahh, can't
            you smell the sweet aroma of the
            ripe watermelons and high cotton?

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            Tell 'em what you mean Mistuh Mantan.

                MANTAN
            Well, thank you Mistuh Sleep 'N Eat.

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            Give or cousins some of dem educated
            feets.

Mantan begins to do a slow, steady step.

                SLEEP 'N EAT (CONT'D)
            Cousins, first, second, third and
            distant, let's have Mantan take us
            all the way back to a much more
            simpler time.  A time wen men were
            men, women were women, and Neggras
            knew their place.

                                          64.


The AUDIENCE is aghast.  Mantan has picked up the pace.
He's tapping fast and furious.

                MANTAN
            Cousins, I want all of you to go to
            your windows.  Go to your windows
            and yell.  Yell, I'm tired of the
            drugs, the crack babies born out of
            wedlock to crackhead aids infested
            parents.  I'm tired of the inflated
            welfare rolls while good wholesome
            Americans bring less and less of
            their paycheck home every two weeks.
            I'm tired, you're tired, we're all
            tired of these so-called bible-
            thumping God fearing, whore mongling
            Professional athletes.  Aren't you
            tired of these basketball-dunking,
            football-running, hop-hip rapping
            ebonic-speaking sex offenders who
            got ten kids from ten different
            Ho's?  I know I am and so is Sleep
            'N Eat.

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            You tellin' the truth.

                MANTAN
            Go to your windows and yell out,
            scream with all the life you can
            muster up inside your assaulted,
            bruised and battered bodies.  I'M
            SICK AND TIRED OF NIGGERS AND I'M
            NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!

Mantan stops dancing and collapses.

ON AUDIENCE

They're stunned.  They can't believe what they've heard,
what they've seen.  What they've been witness to.

ON YOUNG WHITE COUPLE

They look at the black people in the audience.

ON YOUNG HIP-HOP BLACK MALE

He starts to clap slowly.

ON AUDIENCE

Slowly more black people begin to applaud.  Slowly it sweeps
up into the black people.

                                          65.


The WHITE AUDIENCE, of course, has been waiting to see how
their black brothers and sisters would react.  Now feeling
comfortable and safe, they too being to join the applause.

ON AUDIENCE

The applause changes into laughter.  It is not nervous
laughter we hear, but straight out RIOTOUS LAUGHTER.

ON BLACK AND WHITE FACES

The laughter is contagious.

ON STAGE

Mantan starts to move, he's coming back from the dead.  He
slowly gets up from his prostate position as he HEARS:

A WAYBACK ALABAMA JIG played by the house band, THE PORCH
MONKEYS, led by musical director Levi.  Mantan is joined on
stage by the other hoofers in the show: JUNGLE BUNNY,
SNOWFLAKE, SAMBO, AUNT JEMIMA, RASTUS, NIGGER JIM, plus
SLEEP 'N EAT.  Each take turn as it evolves into an elaborate
DANCE NUMBER.  The hoofers and the band are also in black
face.

ON AUDIENCE

They are rolling down the aisles.

INT. CONTROL ROOM - NIGHT

ON DELACROIX

Delacroix looks like he has seen a ghost.

CLOSER

He buries his face in his hands.

INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT - NEXT NIGHT

Delacroix is in the same position as the scene before.  Face
buried in his hands.

ON PHONE

It rings and he picks it up.

                DELACROIX
            Hello?

                                          66.


EXT. STREETS - NIGHT

Dunwitty drives his Mercedes Benz CL 600 Coupe.

                DUNWITTY
            Yo, DeLa, I just got the news from
            the CNS brass.  They saw some clips
            from the pilot and they're rushing
            it onto the air.  Yo, we're a
            midseason replacement, ordered 12
            shows.  We're on in 3 weeks.  Didya
            hear what I just said, Yo?

ON DUNWITTY

                DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
            They didn't even view a rough cut,
            just some scenes we quickly cut
            together.

ON DELACROIX

                DELACROIX
            This has to be a big mistake.

                DUNWITTY (O.S.)
            The big mistake was my not believing
            in your genius earlier.  From the
            gitgo, from jump street.

                DELACROIX
            Hold on a sec, I got a call.

HE CLICKS OVER.

                DELACROIX (CONT'D)
            Hello, Mommy, let me get rid of
            this other call.

INT. BENZ - CONTINUOUS

                DELACROIX (O.S.)
            I gots to go, it's my Moms.

                DUNWITTY
            I want to meet her one day, please
            tell her the great news.  I'm OUT
            like Vanilla Ice.

INT. ORCHID'S HOUSE - NIGHT

She is on the phone with her son.

                                          67.


                ORCHID
            Peerless, your father called.

INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT

                DELACROIX
            I'll be right over.

INT. STREET - NIGHT

It's a warm summer night.

                MANTAN
            So what's up with you?

                SLOAN
            What do you want to know?

                MANTAN
            The good stuff.

                SLOAN
            I'm an asthmatic.  Been one all my
            life.  Can't go anywhere without an
            inhaler.

                MANTAN
            What else?

                SLOAN
            Are you trying to rap to me?

INT. ORCHID'S HOUSE

Delacroix sits at the kitchen table.

                ORCHID
            He wants you to come and see him.

                DELACROIX
            He said that?

                ORCHID
            Yes he did.

                DELACROIX
            Where is he?

                ORCHID
            He's performing at some place
            outside of Richmond, Virginia.

                DELACROIX
            I can't go all the way down south.

                                          68.


                ORCHID
            Richmond is not all the way down
            south.

                DELACROIX
            I don't even know why you're still
            concerned over him.  Daddy's not
            with you.

                ORCHID
            Regardless, he still is your father.

                DELACROIX
            It's gonna be hard for me to get
            away with the show taking off.

                ORCHID
            Even more reason to see him.  He'll
            be overjoyed with your success.

                DELACROIX
            C'mon, Mommy.  Daddy hasn't been
            impressed with anything I've ever
            done.  From winning my fifth grade
            Spelling Bee to the present.

                ORCHID
            Peerless, last time, go see your
            father.

EXT. PARK - NIGHT

Mantan and Sloan are sitting on a park bench, nothing is
being said.  He sits up and starts to do a dance for her.
To her.

ON BENCH

Mantan is doing that "Mating" tap dance.

                SLOAN
            Are you trying to seduce me?

He puts his index finger over his mouth - "Quiet."

                SLOAN (CONT'D)
            You think that's gonna work, huh?

He quickly jumps up on the bench, does some intricate steps
then pulls Sloan up from her sitting position.

ON MANTAN AND SLOAN

They kiss.

                                          69.


EXT. I-95 SOUTH - MORNING

Delacroix is driving "down south."

INT. CAR - CONTINUOUS

Delacroix adjusts the mirror so he can see himself.  HE
SPEAKS TO US through the MIRROR

                DELACROIX
            I figured this was a good time to
            get away.  Just jump in my ride and
            go.  I always did my best thinking
            when I was driving alone.  I needed
            to think out clearly what I was
            going to do with this MANTAN - THE
            NEW MILLENNIUM MINSTREL SHOW.

EXT. I-95 SOUTH

Delacroix is driving on his way to "Ole Virginny."

EXT. MAMA'S SUGAR SHAK - NIGHT

Delacroix pulls up in the parking lot of a rinky-kink,
funky, greasy BAR/CLUB/BAR-B-Q joint.

CLOSE ON NEON SIGN

"MAMA'S SUGAR SHAK" - most the letters do not light up,
underneath it, "2-NITE - JUNEBUG."

INT. MAMA'S SUGAR SHAK

It's loud as hell as Delacroix enters this smoky, dark
establishment.

P.O.V. DELACROIX

This must be a big night in here because the PATRONS are
dressed to the nines.  What's in style down here is a lot
different from what's happening en Nueva York.  Many of the
men are dressed like PIMPS from 70's BLAXPLOITATION FILM,
the ladies like HOOTCHIE MAMAS from "Luke" video.

ON SUGAR SHAK

Delacroix works himself through the crowded BAR/DISCO into
another small room.

ON COMEDY ROOM

He walks into a small space where his father JUNEBUG is on
the stage.

                                          70.


ON JUNEBUG

He is a good-looking man, the only speckle of gray in his
hair betrays his age.  As he walks around the small stage
doing his comedy stylings, he keeps a drink in one hand and
sips it often.

ON COMEDY ROOM

Delacroix sits in the back so his father can't see him.

ON DELACROIX

He looks around.

P.O.V. DELACROIX

It's dead in here.  The room is nearly empty.

ON TABLE

A couple gets loud, arguing over something.

ON JUNEBUG

                JUNEBUG
            'Cuse me.  Please.  Can you please
            show me some respect.  I'm up here
            trying to make a living.

                MAN
            Mind yo' business.

                JUNEBUG
            Don't make me have to come over
            there and whoop you upside ya head.

The sparse AUDIENCE laughs.

                JUNEBUG (CONT'D)
            Just messin' with ya.  But please
            if you and your lady need to
            discuss something, take it outside.
            Thank you.

He continues on with his show.

ON TABLE

Delacroix walks over to the fighting couple.

                                          71.


                DELACROIX
            Brother man, that's my father up
            there and I drove a long way to see
            him perform.  Please take this
            fifty, go buy you and the young
            lady some drinks in the club.

The guy looks him up and down.

                MAN
            That's yo' Daddy?

Delacroix nods.

                MAN (CONT'D)
            Don't need yo money for drinks.
            Besides, she's drunk already.
            C'mon, let's go.

The guy grabs his friend by the wrist and drags her kicking
and screaming out the room.

CLOSE ON JUNEBUG

                JUNEBUG
            Don't bring your woman out if you
            can't keep her in deep check.  If
            my woman ever did something crazy
            like that I'd put my size 12 dead
            up in her ass.

This gets the biggest laugh of the night.

EXT. DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT

Delacroix knocks.

                JUNEBUG (O.S.)
            What do you want?

                DELACROIX
            I want to speak with you.

                JUNEBUG (O.S.)
            Go away, unless you got my money.

                DELACROIX
            It's me, Peerless.

INT. DRESSING ROOM

He enters into a closet, it's a makeshift dressing room.  A
younger lady, much younger than Junebug - DOT - stands
behind him as she massages his neck.

                                          72.


Junebug gets up from his chair, rushes to his son and they
embrace.

                JUNEBUG
            Son.  Good to seeya.  Good to seeya.

                DELACROIX
            It's been a long time.

                JUNEBUG
            Pull up a chair.  Oh, excuse me,
            this is my lady DOT.

                DELACROIX
            Pleased to meet you.

                DOT
            Glad to meet you, too.  You are all
            your father talks about.

                DELACROIX
            Is that so?

                JUNEBUG
            Honey, pour me and my son a drink.

They both sit down as drinks are poured.

                DOT
            I'll leave you two alone.

She kisses Junebug on the forehead before leaving.

                JUNEBUG
            Good woman.  I trained her right.

                DELACROIX
            Daddy, she's younger than me.

                JUNEBUG
            My game is still strong.  No Viagra
            for me, don't need no chemicals.
            Just my tonic.

He holds up his drink and kills it in one gulp.

                JUNEBUG (CONT'D)
            Purely for medicinal purposes.

                DELACROIX
            I thought you had promised Mommy
            you stopped.

                                          73.


                JUNEBUG
            I did.  I'm not an alcoholic.  I
            just like to drink.

                DELACROIX
            How did you end up here?

                JUNEBUG
            How did I end up at the third rate
            chittlin' circuit greasy hole in
            the wall in West Hell, Virginny?
            Is that what you're asking ya Daddy?

Delacroix takes a sip of his drink.

                DELACROIX
            That's what I'm askin'.

                JUNEBUG
            Because I had too much pride.  Too
            much integrity.  I wouldn't lick
            nobody's butt.  Some material I
            refused to do.

                DELACROIX
            Daddy, it can't be just because of
            that.  There had to be other factors.

Junebug pours himself another stiff one.

                JUNEBUG
            That's the only reason, period.
            They only want one certain kind of
            black comic.

                DELACROIX
            Another one of your conspiracies to
            hold ya career back?

                JUNEBUG
            All I know is what happened to me.
            All that other mess I just file
            into the "life's too short" category.

He downs another one.  Junebug drinks like a fish.

                JUNEBUG (CONT'D)
            Enough about me, what's happening
            with you?

                DELACROIX
            The same old, same old.  Trying to
            get my stuff through.

                                          74.


                JUNEBUG
            Dem white boys giving you a hard
            time?

                DELACROIX
            Nuthin' I can't handle.

                JUNEBUG
            The truth is never let them seeya
            sweat.  You do that, that's half
            the battle.

                DELACROIX
            Where do you go from here?

                JUNEBUG
            Three nights Charleston, South
            Carolina.

                DELACROIX
            I didn't mean that, in life.

                JUNEBUG
            In life?  I'ma keep on living,
            having a good drink, got me a good
            young woman, make a couple of
            dollars and make people laugh.
            Haven't I always tol' you all
            nigga's are entertainers?  The
            question is what are you gonna do,
            Peerless?

INT. HOTEL HALLWAY - NIGHT

Delacroix and Dot are on either side of Junebug as they hold
him up.

ON DOOR

Delacroix struggles to put the key in the door.

INT. HOTEL ROOM

The door is kicked open as the trio comes in.  Junebug is
drunk as a skunk.

                JUNEBUG
            I'm not an alcoholic.  I just like
            to drink.

                DOT
            We know that baby.

                                          75.


                DELACROIX
            Let's get him over to the bed.

                JUNEBUG
            Baby, you treat me so good.
            Peerless, you're a good son, I love
            you.  You never gave me no trouble.

They lay him down on the bed.

                DELACROIX
            I love you too, Daddy.

                JUNEBUG
            Always keep 'em laughing.

Dot takes off his shoes.  He's out like a light.  Gone.

                DELACROIX
            How long has my father been like
            this?

                DOT
            Not that often.  He was excited to
            see you.

                DELACROIX
            So he drank himself into a stuper?

                DOT
            The drinking is for the pain.  It
            doesn't kill it, just dulls it.

                DELACROIX
            So what's up with you?

                DOT
            I was a hostess at this club, your
            Daddy was performing and I had
            never laughed so hard in my life.
            He asked me to come with him.  I
            quit my job and we've been together
            ever since.

Delacroix pulls out his billfold and gives Dot five crisp
new model hundred dollar bills.

                DELACROIX
            Don't tell him it's from me or he
            won't take it.

                DOT
            Your father is proud of you.

                                          76.


                DELACROIX
            He never showed it.

                DOT
            He did the best way he knew how,
            Junebug is stubborn just like you.

Delacroix kisses his sleeping father of the forehead.

                DOT (CONT'D)
            I'll take care of him.

EXT. I-95 NORTH - NIGHT

Delacroix is driving back home - up North.

INT. CAR - CONTINUOUS

                DELACROIX (V.O.)
            My Daddy.  I'm not mad at him.  Not
            at all.  Junebug was the reason I
            got into this business in the first
            place.

CLOSER

                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            And I thank him for that.  However,
            it did me no good seeing him in
            that state.  Daddy was a broken man.
            He had been a strong man, with
            conviction, integrity, principles
            and look where it had gotten him.
            I had to ask myself did I want to
            end up where he was?

OVERHEAD REAR VIEW MIRROR

Delacroix adjusts the mirror so he can see himself, and
SPEAK TO US.

                DELACROIX (CONT'D)
            That was the last time I ever saw
            my father.

EXT. I-95 NORTH

Delacroix's car flies past us.

INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT

ON MIRROR

Mantan starts to black up.

                                          77.


INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM

Sleep 'N Eat also begins to black up.

INT. STAGE - NIGHT

Honeycutt stands in front of the festive young, mixed
audience.

                HONEYCUTT
            Everybody say Ho!

                AUDIENCE
            Ho!

                HONEYCUTT
            That'swhatI'mtalkin'bout!
            That'swhatI'mtalkin'bout!  I want
            to be the first to welcome you to
            the second taping of Mantan - The
            New Millennium Minstrel Show.

Audience applauds.

                HONEYCUTT (CONT'D)
            My name is Honeycutt and I want to
            try something different.  Can you
            do this for me?

ON AUDIENCE

                AUDIENCE
            Yeah!

BACK ON HONEYCUTT

                HONEYCUTT
            I'm gonna start a chant and I want
            y'all to follow me.  Let's make our
            own 2 real coons know you're ready
            to start the show.

CLOSER

                HONEYCUTT (CONT'D)
            Let's go Niggers.  Then clap five
            times like this.

Honeycutt claps the cadence.

                                          78.


                HONEYCUTT (CONT'D)
            C'mon.  It's easy.  It's the same
            thing y'all do out at the Yankee
            game, no different 'cept we changing
            one word.  Everybody go it?

ON AUDIENCE

                AUDIENCE
            YEAH!

CLOSER ON HONEYCUTT

                HONEYCUTT
            Alright.  Here we go.  Let's go
            NIGGERS!  LET'S GO NIGGERS!

CLOSE ON AUDIENCE

                AUDIENCE
            Let's go NIGGERS.

INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM

ON MIRROR

Mantan is finishing the black.

                AUDIENCE (O.S.)
            Let's go niggers!

INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM

Sleep 'N Eat is finishing his Black.

                AUDIENCE (O.S.)
            Let's go niggers!

INT. STAGE - CONTINUOUS

                HONEYCUTT
            Louder.  They can't hear you.

CLOSE ON YOUNG BLACK WOMAN

                YOUNG BLACK WOMAN
            LET'S GO NIGGERS!

CLOSE ON YOUNG WHITE MALE

                YOUNG WHITE MALE
            LET'S GO NIGGERS!

                                          79.


INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM

Mantan is applying his FIRETRUCK RED lipstick.

                AUDIENCE (O.S.)
            LET'S GO NIGGERS!

INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM

Sleep 'N Eat's also applying lipstick.

                AUDIENCE (O.S.)
            LET'S GO NIGGERS!

INT. STAGE - CONTINUOUS

Their CHANT is deafening.  The audience's hyped.

                HONEYCUTT
            You sound so good to me.  Ladies
            and gentlemen, boys and girls,
            without further adieu, let's
            welcome youknowwhoI'mtalkin'about,
            your two favorite coons, Da Dusky
            Duo, our stars Mantan and Sleep 'N
            Eat.

The audience goes crazy as the curtain goes up and the house
band kicks in with the Mantan theme.

ON STAGE

The setting is a chicken coop, live roosters and chickens
move freely about Mantan and Sleep 'N Eat.  They start right
into their routine at a furious pace.

                MANTAN
            Y'know my lady Lucindy?

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            The one with da big...

                MANTAN
            Not her, the one with the little...

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            Oh her.

                MANTAN
            Tomorrow is her birthday and I want
            to get her something really nice,
            like a...

                                          80.


                SLEEP 'N EAT
            No, not that.  How 'bout...

                MANTAN
            She hates dem.

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            Too bad.  How 'bout a dress?

                MANTAN
            Sleep 'N Eat, one of dem slinky,
            sexy, little foxy...

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            Mantan, way too short, too tight.
            Get her one of dose...

                MANTAN
            ...to big.  The in-between one, not
            too tight, not too lose.

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            That'll work.  I just bought one
            for myself.

Mantan cocks his limp wrist.  The audience ROARS.

                SLEEP 'N EAT (CONT'D)
            Not for me, my woolly headed cotton
            pickin' friend for...

                MANTAN
            I thought you got rid of...

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            ...that was Vicki, her best friend.
            Dat dress will cast ya round...

                MANTAN
            ...dat's too much money.  I can't
            'ford it.  I needs me a dress that
            cost no mo' than...

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            ...aconite get it dat cheap.

                MANTAN
            I'll buy her a less expensive
            dress, so I can have some money
            left over to take her out to dinner.

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            We should go out on a double date.

                                          81.


                MANTAN
            I heard ya lady is wild.

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            No.  That's her second cousin.
            Who's married to Li'l Bit.

                MANTAN
            Oh, because on our first date, she
            let me...

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            ...no, she didn't...

                MANTAN
            ...yes she did.

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            ...I heard different, thought that
            was...

                MANTAN
            ...not that time...

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            So when are you comin' to pick us up?

                MANTAN
            Around...

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            ...too early...

                MANTAN
            ...then what about...

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            ...too late, maybe around...

                MANTAN
            ...perfect...

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            That's what I like about you and me.
            We git along...

                MANTAN
            ...like macaroni and cheese...

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            ...like grits and butter...

                MANTAN
            ...like fried and chicken...

                                          82.


                SLEEP 'N EAT
            ...like sleep and eat.

OFF-SCREEN we HEAR the VOICE of MASSA CHARLIE, he's the
overseer of this plantation.

                MASSA CHARLIE (O.S.)
            Who goes in there?

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            We'd better hide.

                MANTAN
            It's dat mean, evil overseer Massa
            Charlie.

They hide behind some boxes.

                MASSA CHARLIE
            I say who goes in there?

                BOTH
            There's nobody in here 'cept us
            chickens.

Massa Charlie enters the chicken coops with a SHOTGUN
blazing.  Sleep 'N Eat and Mantan do a jig as they try to
escape the buckshot.

ON AUDIENCE

They're rolling down the aisles in hysterics.

INT. CONTROL BOOTH

Everyone in the booth is laughing uncontrollably.  Except
Delacroix.  Even Sloan is dying.

                DELACROIX
            Who's side are you on?

                SLOAN
            I'm sorry, I can't help it.  It's
            too funny.

Delacroix starts to crack a smile.  He is definitely trying
to hold it in.

INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

He sits in front of the television, which is off.

                                          83.


                DELACROIX (V.O.)
            It was the Day of Reckoning.  After
            a massive advertising and publicity
            campaign...

CLOSER

Delacroix stares at the blank screen.

                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            ...the public would finally get a
            chance to view Mantan.  I was
            feelin' a little bit like Dr.
            Frankenstein.

INT. SLOAN'S STUDIO APARTMENT - NIGHT

Sloan, Jessica, Mantan and Cheeba are gathered around the
television in the small studio apartment, jabbering away.

                DELACROIX (V.O.)
            What would their reaction be?  I
            hadn't the foggiest.

                SLOAN
            Everybody shut up.

ON TV SCREEN

We see the OPENING of MANTAN - THE NEW MILLENNIUM MINSTREL
SHOW.  It is in CLAYMATION.  Mantan and Sleep 'N Eat are
doing a "jig."  Their noses and lips are done in a grotesque
characterization, BIG WIDE BEGROIDAL NOSES and JUICY RED
SAUCER SOUP COOLING LIPS.

                HONEYCUTT (V.O.)
            Calling all my cousins, you're
            about to take a trip down to Hang
            'Em High Plantation, home of your
            two favorite coons, Mantan and
            Sleep 'N Eat.

ON SLOAN, JESSICA, MANTAN, AND CHEEBA

Mantan isn't happy.

                MANTAN
            Why they gotta make my nose so big?

                CHEEBA
            Look at my lips.

                JESSICA
            I think it looks cute.

                                          84.


ON SLOAN

She can't believe her eyes.

                HONEYCUTT (V.O.)
            Mantan - The New Millennium Minstrel
            Show is proudly sponsored by...

ON TV SCREEN

DA BOMB PRODUCT SHOT AND LOGO

                HONEYCUTT (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            ...Da Bomb.  We'll take you there.
            And...

CLOSER ON TV SCREEN

TIMMI HILLNIGGER PRODUCT SHOT AND LOGO

                HONEYCUTT (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            ...Timmi Hillnigger.  Keep it
            really real.

ON HONEYCUTT

                HONEYCUTT (CONT'D)
            We will be right back with the
            start of our show, but first, a
            word from our proud sponsors.

CUT TO COMMERCIAL #1

EXT. STREET CORNER - ANY GHETTO, U.S.A. - DAY

The TRACK is BOOMING.  The fire hydrant is open on this
sizzling day and practically butt naked "Playaz" and "Hoes"
dance in the water.  Each one is guzzling from 64 ounce
JUGULARS of DA BOMB which are in the shape of a bomb.

ON HONEYCUTT AND CROWD

He's in the spot, he's the spokesperson.

                HONEYCUTT
            DA BOMB.  Yo.  It's 125% pure
            pleasure MALT LIQUOR.

                HOOCHIE #1
            It's Da Bomb, Baby.

                PLAYA #1
            It's Da Bomb, Baby.

                                          85.


ON CROWD

Nothing but butts and breasts gyrating.

                HONEYCUTT (V.O.)
            Clinical testing has found that
            Viagra doesn't work on black
            "johnson's."  That's why our
            scientists developed Da Bomb for
            you.  It makes you feel like a MAN
            and it makes dem bitches feel like
            Natural Women - I mean Ho's.

                PLAYA #2
            It makes my nature rise.

                HOOCHIE #2
            I want to get funked up.

                HONEYCUTT
            DA BOMB - 125% pure pleasure malt
            liquor.

Honeycutt takes a big swallow from his 64 oz. Jugular.  Two
statuesque ladies sandwich him, grinding up on Honeycutt.
He takes the jugular from his lips.  As he speaks, flames
come out of his mouth.

                HONEYCUTT (CONT'D)
            Oooooo-weeee!!  Da Bomb makes me
            wanna get my freak on.

                TWO MO' HOOCHIES
            Honeycutt, let's get our swerve on@

CUT TO COMMERCIAL #2

EXT. STREET CORNER - ANY GHETTO, U.S.A. - DAY

A middled-aged Caucasian male, TIMMI HILLNIGGER, is
surrounded by a mob deep of hard-looking PLAYAZ.

                TIMMY HILLNIGGER
            Yo, my name be Timmi Hillnigger.  I
            was born and raised up in Strong
            Island so you know I know about my
            peeps, my niggaz in the git-toe.  I
            design and own TIMMI HILLNIGGER
            125% Authentic Git-Toe active wear.

DAWG #1 steps forward.

                DAWG #1
            Hillnigger keeps it real.

                                          86.


DAWG #2 steps forward also.

                DAWG #2
            Timmi's gots all da latest gear.

                TIMMY HILLNIGGER
            If you want to keep it really real,
            never get out of the git-toe, stay
            broke and continue to add to my
            multibillion dollar corporation,
            keep buyin' all my gear.  The Timmi
            Hillnigger collection.  We keep it
            so real we give you the bullet holes.

Hoe #1 laying in a white thong on top of a white Rolls-Royce.

                HOE #1
            All my niggaz wear Hillnigger or
            they don't wear a damn thing at all.
            It's Git-toe Fabulous.

EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE - NIGHT

The lights are on in the White House.

                DELACROIX (V.O.)
            I was sunk, dead.  My goose was
            cooked.  The cat was in the bag and
            the bag was in the river.

INT. THE WHITE HOUSE

President Clinton is seen behind a TV set laughing his head
off.

INT. THE WHITE HOUSE - PRESS CONFERENCE - DAY

The President of the U.S. stands behind a podium and takes
questions from the press.

                REPORTER
            Did you watch MANTAN - THE NEW
            MILLENNIUM MINSTREL SHOW last night?

                PRESIDENT CLINTON
            Yes I did and I can honestly say I
            feel it promotes racial healing.

INT. DUNWITTY'S OFFICE - MORNING

Dunwitty, Delacroix and Sloan are joined by a young Caucasian
woman, MYRNA GOLDFARB.

                                          87.


                DUNWITTY
            I know all of you have seen the
            overnight ratings.  Through the
            roof.  But in this game you gotta
            be one, two, three steps ahead.  I
            introduce you to Myrna Goldfarb.
            She's the best media consultant in
            the biz.

                MYRNA
            First, I would like to say I love
            the show.  It's very courageous.
            My parents marched in Selma,
            Alabama with Dr. King.

                DELACROIX
            Why are you here?

                MYRNA
            Good question, straight to the
            point.  I like your style.  Because
            of the content of the show we can
            expect some spirited reactions.

                DUNWITTY
            Myrna is here to help us plan our
            strategy.

                MYRNA
            The best defense is offense.

                DELACROIX
            I thought it was the other way
            around.

                MYRNA
            You get my point.  I've mapped out
            some strategies to help bolster our
            position.

                SLOAN
            Which is?

                MYRNA
            That this is fun.  Nice wholesome
            fun.

                DUNWITTY
            Goldfarb, run it down for them.

                                          88.


                MYRNA
            The Mantan Manifesto.  Catchy ain't
            it?  Number One.  We gainfully
            employ African Americans, in front
            of and behind the cameras.  Two.
            Let the audience decide.  Three.
            Who put these critics in charge?
            These so-called cultural police?
            Four.  Who determines what is black?
            Five.  Mantan is a satire.  Six.
            If they can't take a joke, "F" 'em.

                DUNWITTY
            We all stick to this, it's smooth
            sailing.

                SLOAN
            It sounds kinda simplistic to me.

                MYRNA
            I've done my research.

                DELACROIX
            These are black folks we're talkin'
            about, not some lab mice in a cage.

                MYRNA
            Monsieur Delacroix, I got my PhD in
            African-American studies from Yale,
            so I do feel I'm qualified.

                DUNWITTY
            Let Myrna finish.

                MYRNA
            Thank you.  And always smile.

                DELACROIX
            Yeah, show dem pearly whites.

She ignores him.

                MYRNA
            Wear Kente cloth, invoke the name
            of Dr. Martin Luther King, use the
            word "community" often when talking
            about Mantan.  And finally our
            biggest plus is you, Pierre
            Delacroix.

                DELACROIX
            Me?

                                          89.


                DUNWITTY
            Yes you!

                MYRNA
            This show was created, conceived by
            you, a non-threatening African-
            American male.  Voila.  End of
            argument.  It can't be racist
            because you're black.

                DELACROIX
            I'm not black.  I'm a NEGRO!!!

INT. CNS HALLWAY - POST MEETING

Sloan and Delacroix are walking in the hallway.  They keep
getting interrupted by people who congratulate Delacroix on
the success of the show.

                SLOAN
            So you have your small victory, now
            what?

                DELACROIX
            A small victory isn't that small
            when you've been use to losing.

INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE - MORNING

Sloan hands Delacroix a wrapped gift.

                DELACROIX
            What is this?

                SLOAN
            A gift.

                DELACROIX
            For what?

                SLOAN
            No matter what you think, you did
            come up with something unique.
            Open it.

Delacroix opens his gift.  It is one of those old cast iron
Black Collectibles.  This one is called "THE JOLLY NIGGER
BANK," a head of a Negro, big lips, big nose, wide eyes.

                SLOAN (CONT'D)
            Put a coin in the hand.

He puts a quarter in the hand.

                                          90.


                SLOAN (CONT'D)
            Watch this.

She pushes the lever and the mouth opens, the quarter flies
in and his eyes go to the top of his head.

                SLOAN (CONT'D)
            Read it on the back.

Delacroix reads.

                DELACROIX
            The Jolly Nigger Bank.

                SLOAN
            This is authentic, not a repro,
            circa turn of the century.

                DELACROIX
            Thanks.

                SLOAN
            I thought it was appropiate.

                DELACROIX
            Is that good or bad?

                SLOAN
            It's all good.  You got a hit show,
            you're gonna need a bank.  Plus, I
            love these old black collectibles.

                DELACROIX
            How so?

                SLOAN
            To me, it shows part of our history
            in this country, a time when we
            were considered inferior, sub-human.

CLOSE ON JOLLY NIGGER BANK

Delacroix puts another quarter in the hand and flips the
lever.  The quarter flies into his mouth as his eyes roll to
the top of his head.

INT. WLIB - DAY

Delacroix is a guest on the GARY BYRD show.  WLIB is the
number one black talk radio station in the nation.

                                          91.


                GARY BYRD
            Our guest today is Pierre Delacroix.
            He is the creator of the highly
            controversial TV show MANTAN.
            Let's get right into it.  You have
            been called by some in the community
            a traitor, a sellout, an Uncle Tom.
            Why does your show generate such
            feelings?

                DELACROIX
            Because race has always been a
            sensitive issue in this country.
            Gary, I have no problem with people
            disagreeing with the show, it's
            when folks start trying to mess
            with my inherent right as an
            artist, that's when I get mad.  No
            one, in any way, shape or form
            should be censored.

                GARY BYRD
            No matter how sexist or racist the
            material may be?

                DELACROIX
            Yes.  And I say yes because who is
            to judge?  Who is to stand before
            us and say this is righteous and
            this is not?  Who?  Who can play God?

                GARY BYRD
            But the line has to be drawn.

                DELACROIX
            Don't you people get it?  We're in
            the 21st Century.  Slavery was over
            four hundred years ago.  All that
            stuff people talked in the old
            days, it's over.  Folks always
            crying, white man this, white man
            that.  Let's all grow up.

                GARY BYRD
            Are you trying to excuse our
            Holocaust?

                DELACROIX
            Can I finish?  Thank you.  I had a
            great Aunt, we called her Sister.
            She went to her grave not believing
            man had walked on the Moon.
                (MORE)

                                          92.


                DELACROIX (CONT'D)
            When I was a little kid, I would
            argue with her, "it's on TV."  She
            would answer "I don't care what's
            on that idiot box.  No MAN is on
            the MOON."  Well, there are a lot
            of your Negroes just like my Aunt
            Sister.  Face up to it.  The world
            has changed and if you don't adapt,
            change with it, you will be left
            behind.  This show is a parody.
            Are you telling me that nobody can
            use some humor, have some laughs in
            their lives?  Is that what you're
            telling me?

EXT. TIMES SQUARE - NIGHT

Mantan and Cheeba gaze skyward at a behemoth billboard for
their show.  Some people recognize them and start asking for
autographs and a crowd forms.

ON MANTAN AND CHEEBA

They're enjoying the adulation.

ANOTHER CORNER

Big Black and the Mau-Mau's also look up at the 2 REAL COONS
billboard.  Their faces say they are not happy.

CLOSE ON 2 REAL COONS BILLBOARD

                                  CUT TO:

CLOSE ON AMERICAN FLAG

It blows majestically in the wind.

                DELACROIX (V.O.)
            When American people want something,
            they want it now, they want it big.

NEWSREEL FOOTAGE

Kids swinging in their hula hoops.

                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            They wanted the hula hoop...

NEWSREEL FOOTAGE

Kids playing with their yo-yo's.

                                          93.


                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            They wanted their yo-yo's.

NEWSREEL FOOTAGE

A young girl petting her Pet Rock.

                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            Who could ever forget those lovable
            pet rocks.

                                  CUT TO:

INT. TOYS "R" US

Parents are fighting over Beanie Babies.  It's a RUCKUS.

                DELACROIX (V.O.)
            Beanie Babies...

EXT. TIMES SQUARE - NIGHT

Mantan and Sleep 'N Eat are doing a tap dance on the GIANT
DIAMONDVISION SCREEN.

                DELACROIX (V.O.)
            Now the latest, hottest, newest
            sensation across the nation was...

CLOSE ON MANTAN AND SLEEP 'N EAT

                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            BLACKFACE!!!

BLACKFACE MONTAGE

We SEE AMERICANS - young, old, black and white in BLACKFACE.
MANTAN and SLEEP 'N EAT are #1 and #2 in the best-selling
Halloween masks.  They fly out of the stores.  We SEE Mantan
and Sleep 'N Eat THE DUSKY DUO Action Dolls, backpacks,
lunch boxes, T-shirts, jackets, board games, watches, and
CD-Rom video games.  Football players, wrestlers in black
face also.

                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            It was the rage.

INT. RECORDING STUDIO

Big Black stands behind 1/16th Black who sits in front of a
laptop computer.

                                          94.


                1/16TH BLACK
            Big Black, I can't log on the
            Mantan Website now, it's overloaded.

                DELACROIX (V.O.)
            The Mantan - The New Millennium
            Minstrel Show at www.nigger.com was
            getting 500,000 hits a day.

                BIG BLACK
            Keep trying.

                1/16TH BLACK
            I'm on it.

INT. CAR DEALER - DAY

A Mercedes-Benz salesman is showing Mantan all the newest,
latest models.

INT. JUSTINE'S RESTAURANT - NIGHT

Mantan and Cheeba sit at a big table with Puff Daddy, Andre
Harrell, Russell Simmons and other assorted RAPPERS.
Everyone is drinking that DOM P.  Buxom Hotties sit in
between the BIG WILLIES.

EXT. CNS BUILDING - DAY

A group of protesters led by the REVEREND JESSE JACKSON and
AL SHARPTON carry signs and banners objecting to Mantan.
They're calling upon the FCC to pull the show off the air
and for the boycotting of the show's two sponsors: TIMMI
HILLNIGGER and DA BOMB MALT LIQUOR.

ON PROTESTERS

The press is watching.

INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE - DAY

Delacroix has now decorated his entire office with Black
Collectibles Art.  WE SEE black jockey lawn pieces, banks,
mammies, signs for products, etc.

ON WINDOW

Delacroix and Mantan are looking out the office window down
on the protesters.

                MANTAN
            Why is Jess and Reverend Al down
            there?

                                          95.


                DELACROIX
            So they can be on TV.

                MANTAN
            You sound like the media.

                DELACROIX
            This is nothing.  It will blow over
            by tomorrow.

                MANTAN
            Same thing Giuliani said.

                DELACROIX
            Tomorrow it will be all about
            cruelty to animals or some sex
            scandal.  Besides, there is no such
            thing as bad publicity.

He hands Mantan a wrapped gift.

                DELACROIX (CONT'D)
            Rest your mind.  It's a little
            somethin' something.

Mantan opens it.  He pulls out an old pair of tap shoes.

                DELACROIX (CONT'D)
            Those were the last pair of tap
            shoes worn by Bill "Bojangles"
            Robinson.  In fact, he died with
            them on.

Mantan starts to laugh.

                DELACROIX (CONT'D)
            No joke.  Serious.

                MANTAN
            Hope the same thing doesn't happen
            to me.  That's some big shoes to
            fill.

                DELACROIX
            In time.

INT. RECORDING STUDIO - NIGHT

The Mau-Mau's are in meeting.  They all drink 64 ounce
jugulars of Da Bomb, are all attired from head to toe in
TIMMI HILLNIGGER Active Ghetto Wear and brandish their 9's.

                BIG BLACK
            That Tom, That Negro...

                                          96.


                DOUBLE BLACK
            ...that handkerchief head...

                BLACK BLACK
            ...dancing monkey...

                1/16TH BLACK
            ...Benedict Arnold...

                BIG BLACK
            ...that simpleton is holding back
            the race.  They got rid of us and
            keep those two buffoons, Mantan and
            Sleep 'N Eat, y'knowwhatI'msayin'?

                HARD BLACK
            Yo, Big Black, Sleep 'N Eat ain't
            even a nigger, y'knowwhatI'msayin'?

                SMOOTH BLACK
            He's Mexican, y'knowwhatI'msayin'?

                MO BLACK
            He's Dominican, y'knowwhatI'msayin'?

                JO BLACK
            He's Peter Rican,
            y'knowwhatI'msayin'?

                BIG BLACK
            Same thing, y'knowwhatI'msayin',
            y'knowwhatI'msayin'!

                1/16TH BLACK
            We know.  We know.  Yo, check it,
            my black brothers, we can't let
            this slide.  Not this injustice.
            Nah, no way.  Dem' two real coons
            iz ill.

                BIG BLACK
            1/16, tru' 'dat.  True 'dat.

                DOUBLE BLACK
            Let me gat him.

                BIG BLACK
            Nah, too easy, this has to be
            symbolic, has to be on the world
            stage.

INT. MANTAN'S APARTMENT - CENTRAL PARK WEST - DAY

Mantan is showing Sloan his new residence.

                                          97.


                SLOAN
            This is a nice place.  It must have
            cost a pretty penny.

                MANTAN
            Sloan, I got it like 'dat.

                SLOAN
            Oh you do, huh?

                MANTAN
            Just a little something' somethin'.

                SLOAN
            I hope you save a little somethin'
            somethin'.

                MANTAN
            Gots no intention of ending up broke.

                SLOAN
            Y'know, at the beginnin' of the
            century, African-American had to
            perform in blackface.  You ever
            heard of Bert Williams?  He was a
            great artist.

                MANTAN
            No, before my time.

                SLOAN
            You don't read, do you?

                MANTAN
            Never read a book in my whole life.

                SLOAN
            Maybe you need to start.

                MANTAN
            Maybe I need to do a lot of things.

                SLOAN
            Bert Williams and the rest, they
            had to black up.  They had no
            choice.  They were considered
            3/5ths of a human being.  Did you
            know that's written in the
            Constitution of the United States?

                                          98.


                MANTAN
            Why all of a sudden are you flippin'
            on me?  This blackface thing was
            part of the deal from the git-go.
            Don't even try to play it like you
            ain't a part of all this.  You down
            with Delacroix.

                SLOAN
            I just don't want you and Cheeba to
            get hurt.

                MANTAN
            We can look out for ourselves.

INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT

Sleep 'N Eat is applying his black face.

INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM

Mantan also puts on his mask.

INT. STAGE

CLOSE ON HONEYCUTT

                HONEYCUTT
            Let's have a warm nigger applause
            for our two favorite coons, Mantan
            and Sleep 'N Eat.  TWO REAL COONS!

ON AUDIENCE

The entire audience is in BLACK FACE.  They applaud, yell,
cheer wildly.  This is becoming a religious cult.

ON STAGE

The curtain rises on Mantan and Sleep 'N Eat.  They are in a
cotton field.

                MANTAN
            I fell out of my bed last night.

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            You slept too near where you got in?

                MANTAN
            I slept too near where I fell out.

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            You expect the unexpected in
            circumstances of that peculiarity.

                                          99.


                MANTAN
            Sleep 'N Eat, what's the matter
            with you?  Using all dose ten
            dollar words?

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            Mantan, it is possible that my
            hyphenated sentences are entirely
            too complex for all the intellect
            contained in that diminutive coconut?

                MANTAN
            Hold on, you allegorical hypothesis.
            Don't cross words with me.

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            Ain't Jemima on the pancake box?

                MANTAN
            Dat's yo Uncle Ben.  That reminds
            me, I've seen a lot of troubles
            lately.

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            How be dat?

                MANTAN
            I don't know who I am.

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            Well, I'll be an Alabama porch
            monkey's uncle.

                MANTAN
            Years ago I married a widow who had
            a grown-up daughter.  My daddy
            visited us often, fell in love with
            my stepdaughter and married her.
            Thusly he became my son-in-law and
            my stepdaughter became my mother
            because she was my father's wife.
            Soon after dis my wife gave birth
            to a son, which of course was my
            father's brother in-law and my
            uncle, for he was the brother of my
            step-mother.  My father's wife also
            became the mother of a son.  He was
            of course my brother and also my
            grandchild for he was the son of my
            daughter.  Accordingly, my wife was
            my grandmother because she was my
            mother's mother.
                (MORE)

                                         100.


                MANTAN (CONT'D)
            Sleep 'N Eat, I was my wife's
            husband and grandchild at one and
            the same time.  And lo' and behold,
            as the husband of a person's
            grandmother is his grandfather, I
            Mantan, became my own grandfather.

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            Mantan, dat sho' is a whopper.

They both start to do the jig.

INT. CONTROL BOOTH

Delacroix is dying laughing.

                DUNWITTY
            You couldn't hold out any longer,
            huh?

ON SLOAN

She looks at Delacroix, her face tells us she's not amused
at all.

ON TV SCREEN

The Dusky Duo is joined on the cotton patch by Snowflake,
Rastus, Sambo, Nigga Jim, Jungle Bunny, Aunt Jemima, And the
Porch Monkeys Band.

                MANTAN
            I feel a song a comin' on.

                SLEEP 'N EAT
            A song a comin' I feel.

The Porch Monkeys kick in and Mantan sings.

                MANTAN
            I fell right dead in love/wid da
            sweetest little dove/little LuLu
            Snow from Tennessee/she made a
            slave of me/an' from her I'se never
            free/I'd do anything she'd ask me
            to...

Sleep 'N Eat takes over.

                                         101.


                SLEEP 'N EAT
            De money I did save/to dat yeller
            gal I gave/for to keep till we was
            wed/she told me dat nobody'd get
            away dat cash/I'll take good care
            of date, she said.

Everybody joins in for the chorus.

                PIKCANINNINIES
            She's de cutest gal in all dis
            world I know/If you met her you
            would say it so/Oh, Lulu, Lulu,
            ev'ry day I pines for you/no other
            gal will do/All I've got is yours
            for life, my little, my little
            yaller Lou/A week ago dat Lou wid
            anudder nigger flew/took ma money
            too, all I had/She broke ma heart
            in two/when I heard dat she had
            flew/Do you wonder dat I feel so
            bad?/She told me not to cry 'case
            she didn't say good bye/but she'd
            take care of dat red/and nobody
            would get de cash away from
            her/She'd keep her word to me she
            said.

INT. RECORDING STUDIO - NIGHT

The Mau-Mau clan surrounds the television monitor, howling
in disgust.

                BIG BLACK
            He gots to be did.

                1/16TH BLACK
            Did he gots to be.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY

Delacroix is leading the meeting of the staff writers on
Mantan.

                DELACROIX (V.O.)
            To my astonishment, not only did
            the people in TV land love us, but
            also the critics.
_
                                         102.


CLOSE ON DELACROIX

                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            Mantan was being hailed as
            groundbreaking, barrier breaking,
            also earth shaking.  I looked
            forward to my awards.  Just
            vindication for all my hard work,
            all my talent that had been
            previously overlooked.

INT. THEATER - NIGHT

Delacroix sits in tux amongst many stars.

                ALEC BALDWIN
            The winner for Best New Sitcom is...
            The envelope please...

A starlet hands him the envelope.

                ALEC BALDWIN (CONT'D)
            The winner is... Pierre Delacroix
            for Mantan - The New Millennium
            Minstrel Show!

Delacroix jumps out og his chair and starts sobbing.  Two
ushers have to help him to the stage.  He is overcome with
emotion.  The audience is on their feet with a standing
ovation.  He hugs Alec Baldwin.

                DELACROIX
            Alec Baldwin, this is the very
            first time we've ever met, you
            don't know this, I'm your biggest
            fan and I want you to have my Emmy.
            It's for you, out of the deep
            bowels of my heart - I don't
            deserve this.  You take it.

Alec Baldwin is shocked.  He grabs Delacroix in a bear hug
and they both cry like babies.

                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            If I did that I'd be assured to
            work forever.  Delacroix the
            grateful Negro.

INT. HOTEL BALLROOM - NIGHT

Delacroix sits at a table in his lucky tux.

                WOODY HARRELSON
            The winner for Best Sit-Com is...

                                         103.


Woody opens the envelope.

                WOODY HARRELSON (CONT'D)
            ...Pierre Delacroix for Mantan.
            Come on up and get your Golden Globe.

Delacroix jumps out of his seat and sprints.  He gets down
on the stage and starts to breakdance, even spinning on his
head.

                DELACROIX (V.O.)
            That routine would go over like
            gangbusters.  I would be a dancing
            fool, Hollywood's new favorite
            Negro, move over Danny, Morgan,
            Samuel L., move over Whoopi.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY

Delacroix is finishing up the meeting.

                DELACROIX
            I had it all planned.  To the T.

INT. DANCE STUDIO - DAY

Mantan is running rigorous rehearsal of The Pikaninnies.
Over and over, repetition after repetition, Snowflake,
Rastus, Sambo, Nigger Jim, Jungle Bunny and Aunt Jemima try
to do an intricate dance step.

                MANTAN
            I'm tired of you pickaninnies
            messing up my choreography.  It
            goes like this.

Mantan does the step with ease.

                MANTAN (CONT'D)
            Try it again.

The dancers do it once more.

                MANTAN (CONT'D)
            Better.

Cheeba walks in.  Mantan checks him out.

                MANTAN (CONT'D)
            Let's take a ten minute break.

They quickly file past Cheeba without saying a word.  The
rehearsal space is just the two.

                                         104.


                CHEEBA
            I'm not drinking the Kool-Aid.

                MANTAN
            What are you talkin' about?

                CHEEBA
            Jim Jones, y'know.  I'm not drinking
            the Kool-Aid.

                MANTAN
            Meaning?

                CHEEBA
            I'm out.

                MANTAN
            Good.  I've got a broken back from
            carrying you all these years anyway.

                CHEEBA
            So that's what you been doing?

                MANTAN
            Damn skippy.

                CHEEBA
            You're in this up till ya neck.

                MANTAN
            Don't shoot me, I'm just the piano
            players.

                CHEEBA
            You can walk away.  We both can.

                MANTAN
            Yeah, that's easy for you to do.
            You never had any talent.

                CHEEBA
            I'm so tired of you running that.
            I always worked hard for you.  You
            think I'm a leech, a kling-on, I
            quit.

Cheeba walks out.

                MANTAN
            I'm the star of Mantan, so you do
            that.  Quit, walk away.  And don't
            come crawling back, either.

                                         105.


INT. LIMOUSINE - NIGHT

Mantan and Sloan ride in back.  He's still thinking about
Cheeba.

                SLOAN
            Why don't you call him?

                MANTAN
            For what?  He left.  Not me.

EXT. APOLLO THEATRE - NIGHT

The limo drives past the World Famous Apollo Theatre in
Harlem, a big crowd is in front.

TIGHT ON THEATRE

It READS: MANTAN THE MARVELOUS

INT. DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT

It's an unruly, fired up crowd that can be heard all the way
back here.

                SLOAN
            You're sure this is a good idea.

                MANTAN
            My people love me.

He kisses her, she doesn't resist.

                SLOAN
            I love you.

After a long, deep kiss she gently pulls back.

                SLOAN (CONT'D)
            I'll be down front.  You better
            start putting your face on.

                MANTAN
            Y'know what?

                SLOAN
            What?

                MANTAN
            You look beautiful like that.

INT. APOLLO THEATRE - NIGHT

Sloan takes a seat down front.

                                         106.


INT. DRESSING ROOM

Mantan, face already done, puts on the firetruck red lipstick.

INT. APOLLO THEATRE

Sloan is looking around this boisterous crowd when she sees

ON THE MAU-MAU'S

In one of the side boxes.

ON BIG BLACK

He waves to his sister.

ON SLOAN

She knows her brother and his clan are up to no good as the
house lights go black.

ANGLE ON STAGE

Honeycutt walks out on stage.  The audience goes crazy.

                HONEYCUTT
            Thank you so very much.  Show me
            some love.

He laughs.

                HONEYCUTT (CONT'D)
            Thank you.  My name is Honeycutt
            and I want to welcome you to a very
            special evening.  It's always great
            coming back to the World Famous
            Apollo Theatre.

The audience applauds.

                HONEYCUTT (CONT'D)
            As everybody knows if you can make
            it here on this stage in front of
            the most discriminating audience in
            the world you can make it anywhere.
            Ladies and gentlemen, let's show
            some real Uptown love for Mantan
            The Marvelous!

The curtain goes up and Mantan the Marvelous stands there,
arms raised.  He starts to do his thing.

                                         107.


ON MAU-MAU BOX

Led by Big Black, they start shouting insults at Mantan.

ON STAGE

Mantan is a pro, he doesn't stop.  In fact, this makes him
dance harder and harder.

ON SLOAN

She leaves her seat and goes to stop her brother.

ON STAGE

Mantan is moving and grooving.  The unrest in the audience
has picked up.

ON AUDIENCE

They start to "boo."  The tide has turned.  Encouraged, the
Mau-Mau's pick it up another notch.

ON MANTAN

He's human after all, and he does hear the boos.  Don't let
those athletes in the papers fool you.  You hear the boos
and nobody, nobody except Dennis Rodman likes to be booed.
Mantan is getting rattled.

ON MAU-MAU'S BOX

Sloan rushes into the box and they are quiet.  They don't
have to say or shout a thing.  The rough Apollo crowd is
doing it all themselves.

TWO SHOT ON SLOAN AND BIG BLACK

The sister and big brother look at each other.  There is no
love between them.

                SLOAN
            This doesn't change a thing.  I
            will still love him.

Big Black can't believe what he has just heard.

ON STAGE

Now projectiles are raining down upon Mantan.  This has
turned into a RUCKUS, a BROUHAHA, a DONNYBROOK.  Honeycutt
races onto the stage to pull off the still tap dancing
Mantan as the Harlem natives BUMRUSH the stage.  THE WORM
HAS TURNED.

                                         108.


ON MAU-MAU'S BOX

Mantan, led by Honeycutt, runs for his life.

ON MOB

They chase him.

ON BACKSTAGE DOOR

Mantan is hauling ass.

EXT. BACKSTAGE

The door crashes open, Mantan rockets out into an open car
door.

ON CAR DOOR

The door slams.

EXT. STREET - NIGHT

The car spins away.

INT. CAR - NIGHT

Delacroix is behind the wheel.  This is the most shaken
we've seen Mantan to date.

                DELACROIX
            Pull ya self together.

Mantan is distraught.

                DELACROIX (CONT'D)
            What are you?  A man or a mouse?
            Are you a punk?  Punking out on me?

                MANTAN
            No.

                DELACROIX
            You getting scared because some
            people don't like what you are doing?

                MANTAN
            Yo, DeLa, they tried to lynch my
            black ass up in dat piece.

                                         109.


                DELACROIX
            You've made it from the guttermost
            to the uppermost.  Don't you know
            you should never let them see you
            sweat.  Y'knowwhatI'msayin'?

                MANTAN
            Yeah.

                DELACROIX
            And now is definitely not the time
            to bitch up.

EXT. HARLEM STREET - NIGHT

Delacroix speeds away.

INT. BET STUDIO - NIGHT

Mantan is on the BET show with host TAVIS SMILEY.

                TAVIS SMILEY
            Our guest tonight is the
            extraordinary, talented performer,
            Mantan.  Thanks for coming in.

                MANTAN
            Tavis, thank you for having me.

                TAVIS SMILEY
            Before we begin, I want to thank
            you for coming on my show for your
            first television interview.  You
            could have chosen Mike Wallace,
            Barbara Walters, Jane Pauley,
            whatnot but you're here.

                MANTAN
            I'm more comfortable around my
            people.

                TAVIS SMILEY
            Let's jump right into it.  Your
            show has sparked a world of
            controversy, provoked a tone of
            dialogue.  How do you see all of
            this?

                MANTAN
            Yo, Tavis, check it out.  This is
            the two-one, the 21st century and
            it's all about the money.  Like my
            man Mase says, "it's all about the
            Benjamins."

                                         110.


                TAVIS SMILEY
            Money and nothing else?

                MANTAN
            Money makes the world go round.  It
            ain't no joke being poor.  I know
            whatI'mtalkin''bout.
            Y'knowwhatI'msayin'?  I've lived on
            the street.  I've been homeless.
            I've learned how to play the game,
            work the game, be in the game.

                TAVIS SMILEY
            Is it inevitable that the game
            plays you?

                MANTAN
            No if you go with the flow, Tavis.
            That's what a lot of Negroes don't
            understand.  Protesting isn't gonna
            do a damn thing.  If people don't
            like our satire in our number one
            hit show then don't watch it.  Or
            better yet write your own show.  Do
            it better.

                TAVIS SMILEY
            Don't you feel that is a simplistic
            retort?

                MANTAN
            I don't know what a retort is, but
            it's simple.  Mantan - The New
            Millennium Minstrel Show is
            UNIVERSAL.  It's not just for
            Negroes in Compton or 125th in
            Harlem.  This is America.  Our
            ancestors helped build this country,
            we got a right, just like everybody
            else.  I'm not gonna box myself in.
            This show makes people think, and
            they're laughing at the same time.

                TAVIS SMILEY
            I admit, that's a very hard thing
            to do.  Quickly let's go to the
            phones before we pay the bills and
            hear from our proud sponsors, DA
            BOMB.  125% PURE PLEASURE MALT
            LIQUOR.  IT MAKES YOU WANNA GET YA
            FREAK ON AND TIMMI HILLNIGGER.
            125% AUTHENTIC GIT-TOE GEAR WHEN
            YOU WANT TO BE GIT-TOED FABULOUS.
                (MORE)

                                         111.


                TAVIS SMILEY (CONT'D)
            Our first caller is Big Black from
            Brooklyn.  Go 'head.

ON MANTAN

                BIG BLACK (O.S.)
            Microphone check, one, two.  One,
            two.  Yo Tavis, I be lovin' yo show
            but Mantan you is foul.  Why you
            perpetrating?  You a sellout.

                MANTAN
            That's our opinion.

                BIG BLACK (O.S.)
            You're a traitor to the race.  A
            tool for the Caucasoids.

                MANTAN
            Why?  Because I'm successful?
            Because I don't use "Causcasoids"
            as an excuse for not fulfilling my
            dreams?

                BIG BLACK (O.S.)
            I ain't hearing all dat noise.  You
            getting played and you don't even
            know it.

                TAVIS SMILEY
            And Big Black from Brooklyn, what
            do you do?

                BIG BLACK (O.S.)
            What do I do?

                TAVIS SMILEY
            What do you do?

                BIG BLACK (O.S.)
            I'm a revolutionary.

                MANTAN
            That's a job?

                BIG BLACK (O.S.)
            That's a full time job, especially
            when sellouts like you are running
            around, acting insane.

                TAVIS SMILEY
            That's enough.

                                         112.


                BIG BLACK (O.S.)
            And another thing, you better stay
            away from my sister or you better...

CLICK!!!

                TAVIS SMILEY
            Ladies and gentlemen, there is no
            need to go there.  We can all agree
            to disagree without making threats.

INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE - NIGHT

Sloan turns off the TV.

                DELACROIX
            Why'd you do that?

                SLOAN
            I don't want to hear it.

                DELACROIX
            How long have you and Hambone been
            hangin' out?

                SLOAN
            You're the one that put us together.
            We're friends.

                DELACROIX
            That crazy brother of yours doesn't
            think so.

                SLOAN
            He's just playing big brother.

                DELACROIX
            Oh, is he?  You getting jiggy with
            Mantan?

                SLOAN
            Please don't go there.

                DELACROIX
            Dunwitty and I feel you've been
            getting too close to him, getting
            his mind all messed up.

                SLOAN
            I can't lie to him.  If he asks me
            something, I tell him what I think.

                DELACROIX
            Do you have to be so damn forthright?

                                         113.


                SLOAN
            DeLa, you should try it sometime.
            Come into the light.

                DELACROIX
            Light?

                SLOAN
            That which has been hidden in
            darkness is now in the light.  This
            bucket of blood.

                DELACROIX
            You can talk all that mumbo jumbo
            if you want to but your hands are
            much bloody.  I know where I made
            my big mistake.  I have a general
            rule, never get involved
            romantically with somebody crazier
            than you.

CUT TO FLASHBACK

INT. MIDTOWN HOTEL ROOM - DAY

Delacroix and Sloan are taking off their clothes.

                DELACROIX
            This is crazy.

                SLOAN
            That's why it will be so much fun.

They kiss, fall half undressed upon the motel bed.

                                  CUT BACK TO:

INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE - NIGHT

                SLOAN
            That was a mistake, but I don't
            regret it.

                DELACROIX
            The first and only time.  A big
            mistake.  I'm gonna have to ask you
            not to see Mantan anymore.

                SLOAN
            Work related or otherwise?

                                         114.


                DELACROIX
            Otherwise.  I trust you know the
            difference.  You're an intelligent
            woman, finished at NYU.

                SLOAN
            DeLa, kiss my big black ass.

                DELACROIX
            And that's how you got me in the
            first place.

Sloan pulls a 3/4 inch cassette out of her bag and hands it
to him.

                SLOAN
            I want you to please view this.  It
            may save your Life.

INT. MANTAN'S APARTMENT - DAY

Mantan and Delacroix are in the middle of a heated discussion.

                DELACROIX
            You shouldn't even be mad at me
            over Sloan.

                MANTAN
            What you did is dead wrong.

                DELACROIX
            Oh, is it?  Buddy boy, in this
            business if people don't produce,
            they get fired.

                MANTAN
            Sloan is the hardest working person
            I've ever met.

                DELACROIX
            Let me ask you a question, if I may.
            How do you think she got the job in
            the first place?  I don't mean to
            burst your bubble, Mantan the
            Marvelous, but Sloan is an
            opportunity.

                MANTAN
            I don't believe it.

                DELACROIX
            Do I have to spell it out for you?
            In fact, go ask Sloan yourself.

                                         115.


INT. SLOAN'S STUDIO APARTMENT - DAY

Mantan is grilling Sloan.

                MANTAN
            How did you get this gig?

                SLOAN
            Worked my black ass off, first as
            an intern, then worked my way up to
            this position.

                MANTAN
            You leave something out?

                SLOAN
            After my internship expired, Dela
            was impressed and offered me a
            position as his assistant.

                MANTAN
            And?

                SLOAN
            And what?

                MANTAN
            Stop playing me Sloan.

                SLOAN
            Just ask me what you want to know.

                MANTAN
            Oh, you gonna make me say it.

                SLOAN
            Say what, Manray?

                MANTAN
            Did you ever sleep with DeLa?

                SLOAN
            We did it one time, only once.  It
            had nothing to do with the job, it
            was stupid.  Everything I've got
            I've earned.

                MANTAN
            Aw, c'mon.

                SLOAN
            That's ancient history.  That has
            nothing to do with you and I.

                                         116.


                MANTAN
            So you say.  Sloan, you wuz gonna
            use me up just like you used Dela?
            Work it to the top.  I never
            imagined people in this biz could
            flip on you like "IHOP."  I'm damn
            happy DeLa fired ya ass.

                SLOAN
            Forget about me, are you a puppet
            for DeLa?

                MANTAN
            Don't try to change to the subject.

                SLOAN
            Why don't you answer?

                MANTAN
            I know I won't be your puppet.

                SLOAN
            You can go now.

                MANTAN
            I wuz leaving anyway, for good.

INT. RECORDING STUDIO - NIGHT

As usual, the clan is smoking and drinking DA BOMB, a thick
marijuana haze hangs over the studio.

                1/16TH BLACK
            Yo, I got da bomb plan.  We gonna
            hook homeslice Mantan up nicely.

He holds up a floppy disk.

INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE - NIGHT

Delacroix sits behind the desk.  He's bought even more Black
Collectibles, he's surrounded by them.

ON DELACROIX

He dials the phone.

                DELACROIX
            Hello, Mommy, how are you?

                                         117.


                ORCHID (O.S.)
            I'm doing okay.  Been reading about
            your show, it's all over everywhere.
            I watched it's all over everywhere.
            I watched it once.  I thought you
            said there would be no buffoonery.

                DELACROIX
            You going to attack me too.  The
            show is a hit.  Aren't you happy
            for me?

INT. ORCHID'S HOUSE

                ORCHID
            Of course I'm happy for you.
            You've worked very hard for your
            success.

                DELACROIX (O.S.)
            Yes I have, very hard.  Has Daddy
            called?

                ORCHID
            No.

ON DELACROIX

                DELACROIX
            Not at all?

                ORCHID (O.S.)
            You know how your Daddy is.

                DELACROIX
            If and when he calls, please don't
            forget to ask him if he's seen
            Mantan.

                ORCHID (O.S.)
            I won't forget.  When are you
            coming up here to see your mother?

                DELACROIX
            Soon.

Delacroix hangs up the phone.  He takes out some change from
his pocket and puts a quarter in the hand of his Jolly
Nigger Bank.

TIGHT ON JNB

Delacroix flips the lever and the quarter flies into the
MOUTH as the EYES roll to the top of its HEAD.

                                         118.


Delacroix does this several times.  CLOSEUPS of the BLACK
COLLECTIBLES in the office.

CLOSER ON JNB

Delacroix is staring at the JNB when its MOUTH OPENS, a
quarter flies in and its EYES roll to the top of its HEAD.

ON DELACROIX

He is incredulous.

                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            When I thought or imagined that my
            favorite Jolly Nigger Bank, an
            inanimate object, a piece of cold,
            cast iron, was moving by itself...

Delacroix slowly, carefully approaches the bank and picks it
off the table.

                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            ...I knew I was getting paranoid.
            Did I really see what I saw or was
            I buggin'?

ON JNB

It's stopped moving.

INT. STAGE - NIGHT

Honeycutt is warming up the crazed "Black Face"-wearing
audience.  He points to a YOUNG WHITE MALE, BOBBY

                HONEYCUTT
            Is you a nigga?

                BOBBY
            Hell yeah, I'm a nigga.

The AUDIENCE CHEERS WILDLY.  Honeycutt points to an old
WHITE LADY, LOUISE, a senior citizen.

                HONEYCUTT
            Ma'am, is you a nigga?

                LOUISE
            Yesiree Bob, you darn tootin' I'm a
            nigger.

The AUDIENCE loses it as Honeycutt hugs Louise as if she's a
grandmother.

                                         119.


INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT

Mantan looks up at his makeup laid out before him on the
counter.

TIGHT ON MANTAN

He stares at himself in the dressing room mirror.  Mantan
can't stand to BLACK UP anymore.

INT. STAGE - NIGHT

Honeycutt stands next to a young black couple TRE and STACY.

                HONEYCUTT
            Are you a nigger?

                TRE
            Yo!

                HONEYCUTT
            Are you a nigga?

                STACY
            Honeycutt, I'm a really real
            niggress.

Stacy gets a standing ovation.

                HONEYCUTT
            You.  You.  Him.  Her.  We're all
            God's niggas.  Even the lost souls
            who don't know it are niggas cuz
            niggas is a beautiful thing.

INT. BACKSTAGE - NIGHT

As Mantan walks down the hallway WE NOTICE he is not dressed
in his costume and he has no BLACK FACE on.

EXT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT

A Worker is painting over Sleep 'N Eat's name on the door
and replacing it with HONEYCUTT

                MANTAN
            They don't waste any time, do they?

INT. CONTROL BOOTH - NIGHT

The phone rings next to Delacroix and he answers.

                                         120.


                DELACROIX
            Delacroix.  What?!  I'll be right
            down.

Dunwitty looks at him.

INT. BACKSTAGE - NIGHT

Delacroix is met by BUNNING, the STAGE MANAGER.

                BUNNING
            You better talk to him.  He won't
            listen to me.

Delacroix walks over to Mantan who stands in a corner.

                DELACROIX
            Mantan, we got a show to tape.

                MANTAN
            My name is Manray, goddamnit.

                DELACROIX
            Kook and the Gang, it's Manray.
            Let's do the taping.  You go back
            to your dressing room, get dressed
            and blacken up.

                MANRAY
            I'm not playin' myself no mo'.

                DELACROIX
            How you sound?

                MANRAY
            I won't do it anymore.

                DELACROIX
            Manray, I'm very sorry about ya boy
            Cheeba and Sloan.  Believe me, it
            gave me no joy pulling ya coattail
            about her, just lookin' out for a
            brother.  I feel you, all this
            stuff happenin' at once but you
            can't let if affect your work.  You
            gotta be professional.

                MANRAY
            I'm always gonna be that.  But I
            ain't doing no more buck dancing.

                DELACROIX
            No costume.  No blackface.

                                         121.


                MANRAY
            No.  No.

Manray leads the way to the stage.

                BUNNING
            I should notify Dunwitty.

                DELACROIX
            And I should put my foot dead up in
            yo' ass.

                BUNNING
            I won't be held responsible.

INT. STAGE - NIGHT

Honeycutt stands in front of the drawn curtain.

                HONEYCUTT
            We apologize for the holdup but
            without further delay, ladies and
            gentlemen, boys and girls, let's
            give it up for Mantan.

A THUNDEROUS ROAR FROM THE STUDIO AUDIENCE.

                HONEYCUTT (CONT'D)
            C'mon, don't be niggardly, give it
            up.  Show Mantan some love.

The CURTAIN RISES and MANRAY stands before them in his
regular street clothes and NO BLACK FACE.

ON AUDIENCE

The THUNDEROUS ROAR is CUT OFF LIKE the LIGHTS, LIKE CON
EDISON PULLS THE PLUG WHEN YOU DON'T PAY THE BILL.

INT. CONTROL BOOTH - NIGHT

Dunwitty is HYSTERICAL.

                DUNWITTY
            Stop the tape.  Stop the tape.
            Delacroix.  Get me Delacroix.

INT. STAGE - NIGHT

Manray speaks to the silence.
_
                                         122.


                MANRAY
            Cousins, I want all of you to go to
            your windows.  Go to your windows
            and yell, scream with all the life
            you can muster up inside your
            assaulted, bruised amd battered
            bodies.

ON MANRAY

                MANRAY
            I'm sick and tired of being a
            nigger and I'm not gonna take it
            anymore.

ON VARIOUS AUDIENCE MEMBERS

Black and white.  Male and female.  Young and old.  All in
black face.

ON MANRAY

He collapses onto the stage and the AUDIENCE sits on their
hands.  Manray gets up and begins to dance.

ON STAGE

Dunwitty runs to Bunning.

                DUNWITTY
            Drop the curtain.  Drop the curtain.

Bunning drops the curtain.  Security rushes onto the stage
and grabs Manray.

                DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
            Escort him out the building now!

                MANRAY
            I wasn't finished doing my dance.

                DUNWITTY
            But you are finished.  Done.
            Nigga's like you are a dime a dozen.
            I'm gonna slide Honeycutt right
            into ya spot.  We won't miss a step.
            Get him outta here.

The security guards move Manray as Dunitty glares at
Delacroix.  Honeycutt is all smiles, he's being bumped to
the top.

                DUNWITTY (CONT'D)
            DeLa, I'll deal with you next.

                                         123.


EXT. BACKSTAGE

The security guards toss Manray out the stage door.  Manray
looks down the alley and it's empty except for a parked SUV.
He picks himself up and does a joyous dance.  This is
Manray's dance of Freedom.

ON STREET

The Big Black Chevy Suburban creeps down the alley to a
dancing Manray and comes to rest right in front of him.
Manray tries to shield his eyes from the hi-beam headlights.

                MANRAY
            Whaddup?

No one comes out.

                MANRAY (CONT'D)
            Whaddup?

The doors open and the Mau-Mau's file out.

                BIG BLACK
            You truly are a dancing fool.

                1/16TH BLACK
            Yo Black, you looking for trouble.

                MANRAY
            Don't start none, won't be none.

The Mau-Mau's are dying laughing.  Manray tries to walk
through them.  They block him.  Manray attempts to climb
over the suburban.  He's quickly nabbed, give a good ole
Brooklyn Beatdown, then thrown into the rear of the vehicle.

EXT. EMPTY BROOKLYN STREET - NIGHT

The Mau-Mau Mobile rolls up to an abandoned factory.

ON CHEVY SUBURBAN

The Mau-Mau's quickly carry Manray out from the back of the
vehicle into the factory.

INT. FACTORY - NIGHT

Manray sits, feet and hands tied, in the middle of a
cavernous space.  A digital video camera stands on a tripod
in front of him.

                BIG BLACK
            You is one dead nigger.

                                         124.


                MANRAY
            What did I do?

                BIG BLACK
            What did you do?

The Mau-Mau's laugh.

                BIG BLACK (CONT'D)
            Brothers, he asks what did he do?

                DOUBLE BLACK
            If you don't know there is nuthin'
            we can do for you.

                BIG BLACK
            Nigga, you will be executed.

ON MANRAY

His face says he can't believe this is happening.

                MANRAY
            For singing and dancing?

                1/16TH BLACK
            You will be done in front of the
            world.

                MO BLACK
            The whole world will be watching.

                1/16TH BLACK
            Via the internet.

                DELACROIX (V.O.)
            The Mau-Mau's had come up with a
            brilliant, sadistic plan to
            broadcast Mantan's execution LIVE
            over the internet.

                1/16TH BLACK
            We have pirated broadcasting
            facilities.  No way we can be found
            out.  We're in cyberspace.

                JO BLACK
            Nobody will find you till it's too
            late.

MONTAGE

Various newsrooms, computer screens, people running,
shouting, yelling over phones.

                                         125.


                DELACROIX (V.O.)
            The Mau-Mau's sent anonymous e-mail
            proclamations to the websites of
            CNN, ABC, MSNBC and CBS.  It was an
            invite to witness the Dance of
            Death, 9 PM, prime time, tomorrow
            night on a site to be designated at
            a later date.

INT. FBI HEADQUARTERS - NIGHT

Delacroix and Cheeba are being interrogated in two adjoining
spaces.  WE ARE seeing them through the two-way mirrors.

                DELACROIX (V.O.)
            It's no joke getting grilled by the
            FBI for five houts.

Delacroix SCREAMS.

                DELACROIX (CONT'D)
            I don't know anything.

                FBI AGENT
            We know you're involved in this
            abduction.

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - NIGHT

                CHEEBA
            You know more than me.  Why would I
            do something like that to my best
            friend?  Why?

                FBI AGENT #2
            You tell us.

EXT. FBI HEADQUARTERS - NIGHT

It's a mob scene as the media frenzy heightens.  Delacroix
and Cheeba try to fight their way through the print and
broadcast journalists trying to question them as they leave
FBI headquarters.

                DELACROIX (V.O.)
            Somehow, someway, somebody had
            tipped the sharks off.  It was a
            feeding frenzy.

Delacroix and Cheeba start pushing people out of the way as
they get in to their waiting car.

                                         126.


INT. X-FORCE WAR ROOM - NIGHT

There is a flurry of activity - people man phones, computers
all HI-TECH.

                DELACROIX (V.O.)
            The X-Force was brought onto the
            case.  When something involves the
            internet, these are the people IBM,
            XEROX, the CIA, FBI, even the US
            Government go to.

ON CLOCK

It reads "T-minus 19 HOURS 22 MINUTES."

                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            It was a race against time.  The
            Dance of Death.

INT. CNS STUDIO - NIGHT

Dunwitty is taping a spot.

                DUNWITTY
            Hello, my name is Thomas Dunwitty.
            I'm the Senior V.P. of the
            entertainment division here at CNS.
            I come to you with a heavy heart.

INT. SLOAN'S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

She's watching Dunwitty on TV.

                DUNWITTY
            This abduction is a cowardly, vile,
            sinful and dastardly act and I
            promise these creeps will be
            prosecuted to the fullest extent of
            the law.  This is an attack on your
            American way of life...

INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT

He's watching the same.

                DUNWITTY
            We here at CNS are offering a
            $100,000 cash award to any
            information that leads to the safe
            return home of our dear friend,
            Mantan.

                                         127.


INT. CNS STUDIO

ON DUNWITTY

                DUNWITTY
            Help us and in addition you will
            get a guest-starring speaking role
            on the next Mantan - The New
            Millennium Minstrel Show, plus an
            added bonus: a lifetime of Da Bomb
            125% Malt Liquor.  Let's you get ya
            "freak on", as well as a full
            wardrobe of Timmi Hillnigger Active
            Git Toe Wear.  Mantan, may God
            bless you...

INT. X-FORCE HEADQUARTERS - DAY

Delacroix and Sloan hurry to stay with BARNETT, he's the
commander of the X-Force.

                BARNETT
            Let's go, time's wasting.

INT. X-FORCE WAR ROOM

They follow Barnett into the war room.

                BARNETT
            They sent the notice out on an
            anonymous remailer.

                SLOAN
            A what?

                BARNETT
            It's used to mask the origin of an
            email, also the computer from which
            it's sent.

                DELACROIX
            There oughta be a law...

                BARNETT
            Not yet, anyway, it's legal.  We
            will find the source where it's
            being broadcasted and hosted.
            We'll get the people that
            bushwhacked Mantan.

                SLOAN
            Before Manray is dead?

                                         128.


                BARNETT
            I can't answer that.

ON CLOCK

It reads "6 HOURS 16 MINUTES."

MONTAGE

Police squads, SWAT Teams are busting into the wrong homes,
apartments, projects, hi-tech computer labs looking for the
Mau-Mau's.

                DELACROIX (V.O.)
            SWAT teams all up and down the East
            Coast busted in on known dissidents
            looking for Manray.  All the tips
            called in, info gathered through
            surveillance proved for naught.

INT. X-FORCE WAR ROOM

                BARNETT
            The both of you should go home.  We
            will keep you abreast.

                SLOAN
            This is looking like a needle in a
            haystack.  It's hopeless.

Delacroix holds Sloan as he leads her out.  She is having
difficulty breathing with her asthma.

                DELACROIX
            Thank you for your help.

                BARNETT
            The X-Force always gets their man.

INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

He sits in front of his GIANT SCREEN, on the desk in front
of him is the 3/4 inch cassette Sloan gave him.  He picks it
up and turns it on.

                DELACROIX (V.O.)
            It was ten o'clock and the Dance of
            Death was about to commence.

                                         129.


ON MONITOR

                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            Since a lot of people still didn't
            have computers, the networks sought
            a court order to carry it live,
            taking the feed off the internet.
            It was granted.  A life snuff
            broadcast right into your living
            room.

ON DELACROIX

                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            I had to give it to the Mau-Mau',
            they definitely had a sense of
            irony.  They chose www.nigger.com
            as the website to pirate.

INT. FACTORY - NIGHT

The Mau-Mau's ironically wear WHITE MASKS, they stand behind
the tied-up Mantan.  A device alters their voices.

                BIG BLACK
            We are LIVE on the cyberspace.
            Whereas Mantan is a TOM...

                BLACK BLACK
            Whereas Mantan is a disgrace...

                SMOOTH BLACK
            Whereas Mantan is a head-scratching,
            foot-shuffling Negro...

                1/16TH BLACK
            Whereas, whereas, where's the ass?

The Mau-Mau's laugh.

                BIG BLACK
            Whereas Mantan the dancing fool,
            you are condemned to death.

                JO BLACK
            The Dance of Death.

1/16th Black unties Manray.

MONTAGE

WE SEE DELACROIX, SLOAN, CHEEBA WITH LOURDESE, DUNWITTY,
JUNEBUG AND DOT, ORCHID, THE X-FORCE WATCHING THIS SPECTACLE
ON COMPUTERS OR TV SCREENS.

                                         130.


ON COMPUTER SCREEN

We see a CARTOON, Yosemite Sam is shooting at the feet of
Bugs Bunny with his six-shooter in each hand.  Bugs Bunny is
doing a fast dance, dodging bullets.

ON MONITOR

The Mau-Mau's shoot at the feet of Manray.

                BIG BLACK
            Dance nigger.

Manray taps.

                SMOOTH BLACK
            You got anything to say for yourself?

                MANRAY
            If you're gonna kill me, kill me.

                SMOOTH BLACK
            Don't worry.

INT. SLOAN'S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

She is having an asthma attack, it was brought on by the
proceedings.  Sloan uses her inhaler.

INT. FACTORY - NIGHT

Each Mau-Mau has a 9mm and is firing it at the feet of
Manray.  They scream "Faster!" and "Dance!" Manray is
hoofing.  He's never tapped this fast, at this breakneck
pace, ever.  But it's evident his dance is one of defiance.
He's not dancing to stay alive.

INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

He screams at the monitor.

                DELACROIX
            Don't dance.  Don't do it.

INT. FACTORY

The Mau-Mau's have noticed Manray's strong will, his pride
and they don't like it.  They shoot even more at his feet.

                BIG BLACK
            You ain't Blak.

                DOUBLE BLACK
            Blak you ain't.

                                         131.


                SMOOTH BLACK
            You a Oreo.  Not Blak.  Not BLAK.

The Mau-Mau's start to chant, "Blak, blak, blak."

INT. SLOAN'S APARTMENT

She hears this and quickly picks up the phone to call the
authorities.

INT. FACTORY

                MANRAY
            There is nothing you can do to me.
            I'm wearing the taps of Bill
            "Bojangles" Robinson.

Manray is shot in one foot.  Then the other.

                BIG BLACK
            Let's seeya dance now, Mr. Bojangles.

Manray somehow manages to right himself and starts to dance
again.  The Mau-Mau's can't believe it.

ON MANRAY

He dances like his life depends on it.  Despite the fact his
feet are a bloody mess.

                BIG BLACK (CONT'D)
            You ain' BLAK.

He shoots Manray in the chest, the Mau-Mau's follow him and
he does a spastic last jig as the 9mm bullets riddle his
twitching body.

ON TV SCREEN

It goes black.

MONTAGE

Helicopters fly through the night sky.  Cop cars and trucks,
SWAT team vehicles are on the move.  SIRENS BLARE.

INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE

Delacroix's head is on his desk.  He has been crying.  On
cue the Black Collectibles start to move.  The Jolly Nigger
Bank, Aunt Jemima's, Mammies, etc., they are animated for
REAL.

                                         132.


ON DELACROIX

His head pops up as he sees the objects.  He too is in
BLACKFACE.  In a rage, he starts to throw them against the
wall.

                DELACROIX
            Leave me alone.  Get away from me.
            You spearchucker.  You black sambo.
            You nigger pickaninny.  Fat Mammie.

Delacroix has finally lost it.  He looks at the shambles
he's made of his office.

EXT. FACTORY - CONTINUOUS

The Mau-Mau's come out of the factory high as a kite.  Each
has a big fat joint or a 64 oz. of DA BOMB.  They're also
doing a free-style rap about their execution.

ON CHEVY SUBURBAN

They get in when the squak of police walkie-talkie's clicks.

                BIG BLACK
            It's the man!

What follows is a horrifying display of firepower.  All the
Mau-Mau's bodies are doing the Bonnie and Clyde Sonny
Corleone Dance of Death as bullets tear into them and the
Suburban.  Not one of them is able to get a shot off.  The
shooting stops.  The twitching stops.  All's quiet.  1/16th
Black comes out with his hands up.

                1/16TH BLACK
            Don't shoot!  Don't shoot!  I've
            been held hostage.  They made me
            part of them against my own free
            will.  Don't shoot!

The cops quickly pounce on 1/16th Black.

                1/16TH BLACK (CONT'D)
            I'm WHITE.  I'm WHITE!  Look at me,
            I'm white!

INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE

Delacroix is on the floor when the doorknob turns.  It's
Sloan and she has a gun in one hand and her inhaler in the
other.  She's wheezing like mad.

                SLOAN
            Get up and put that tape in.

                                         133.


She points the gun at his head.

                SLOAN (CONT'D)
            Do what I say.

Delacroix takes the cassette tape off his desk and puts it
in the 3/4 inch desk.

                SLOAN (CONT'D)
            Don't make me have to use this.

                DELACROIX
            I didn't think this was in your
            studies at NYU.

Delacroix hits the PLAY button.

ON SCREEN

IMAGES.  HISTORY.  VISUALS.  Sloan has put together a tape
of the worst, most racist, stereotypical images from cinema
and TV over the last 100 years.  With these images there's
also a laugh-track.

                SLOAN
            Watch this.  This is what you
            contributed to.  Because of you,
            Manray is dead.  Mu brother's dead.
            It's all because of you.

Delacroix can't watch the monitor.

                DELACROIX
            I'm sorry.  I didn't know anyone
            would get hurt.  I'm sorry, please
            give me that gun before you hurt
            yourself.  Give me the gun.

He reaches for it.  BOOM!  Sloan screams.

                SLOAN
            I told you but you wouldn't listen.
            You never listened to me.

                DELACROIX
            Give me the gun.

She reluctantly hands it to him.

                DELACROIX (CONT'D)
            Go, get out of here.  Go home.

Sloan runs out.  Delacroix slumps to the floor, WIPES HER
FINGERPRINTS off the revolver.

                                         134.


ON DELACROIX

He looks at the monitor, the tape still playing.

                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            As I bled to death, as my very
            precious life oozed out of me all I
            could think of was that I never
            made my father proud.  My mother
            didn't count.

ON SCREEN

We see STEP 'N FETCHIT, MANTAN MORELAND and WILLIE BEST.

                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            Everything I did, no matter how
            great or small, was always
            extraordinary to her.  With Daddy
            it was a different ball game.  He
            never saw me.  Pierre Delacroix.

ON DELACROIX

A pool of blood has formed around his dying body.

                DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)
            Now it was time to buy the farm,
            for me to meet my maker.  Goodbye
            cousins, and please tune in next
            week for the Best of Mantan - The
            New Millennium Minstrel Show.

ON SCREEN

We see MANTAN in BLACKFACE doing his BUCKDANCE

CLOSE ON DELACROIX

He looks at Mantan.

                DELACROIX (CONT'D)
            For the love of Joseph and Mary,
            what have I done?  My God, what
            have I done?!

Delacroix slumps over dead.

                                  CUT TO:

                                         135.


ARCHIVAL FOOTAGE OF MALCOLM X

                MALCOLM X
            You've been had.  You've been took.
            You've been led astray.  Run amok.
            You've been bamboozled.

                                  FADE TO BLACK.

THE END.

END CREDITS.

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